Product Description

What makes women tick? And how can women and men use this knowledge to make a great relationship? Top relationships expert tells you how 'What Women Want Men To Know' is a book for men and women alike. Barbara De Angelis reveals what makes women tick, just why it is they do what they do -- in relationships, in bed, and in day to day communication. And what they want from their men. Essential reading for the man who wants to understand his partner better, it is also a must for the woman who wants to understand her own relationship and needs: "first and foremost this book is for you as a woman to read. It wasn't written just to help men understand you -- it is an invitation for you to know and understand yourself more than you ever have before! " The book includes the top 10 turn offs for women in bed and the top 10 turn ons. At a time when our stressed-out lifestyles are making healthy, fulfilled relationships increasingly elusive, the foremost female writer in this genre has provided, yet again, a route to a greater understanding of the one you love. This is vintage De Angelis.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #56585 in Books
• Published on: 2002-01-02
• Original language: English
• Binding: Paperback
• 416 pages

About the Author
Barbara De Angelis is one of the world's premier relationships psychologists. Her previous titles include Are you the one for me?, Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know, The Real Rules and Secrets about Life Every Woman Should Know

Customer Reviews

Helpful for Discussing How to Have a Better Relationship
Dr. De Angelis has written a passionate appeal to men that is designed to help them improve their relationships with women. This book will probably be given as a gift by wives to husbands and girl friends to their boy friends. If someone gives you this book, see it as an act of love that will help you.

While some books about what men need to know totally take the woman's perspective, this book is well balanced. Dr. De Angelis seems to understand male psychology almost as well as she understands her own. Years ago she wrote a parallel book on what men want women to know that demonstrates that understanding. In this book she is careful to keep that balance. For example, the beginning sections include separate messages to women and men for how to give and receive this book, and work with it in loving ways. She also states at several points in bold type, "I love men." She also doesn't seem to be trying to turn men into women.

The book's premise is based on thousands of contacts Dr. De Angelis has had with women and a questionnaire that she distributed. She points out that what she has to say doesn't describe every woman. Each is unique. Men are encouraged to discuss the points in the book to find out which of them do fit the women they care about. This kind of conversation will be an important and valuable use of the book.

The fundamental divide between men and women in relationships is that women put love first and it fills and colors every part of what they do and think about. Men put achievement first, and compartmentalize love into a small portion of their lives. A real eye-opener for me was one woman's love diary about her loving thoughts concerning her man. He was seldom out of her mind for more than ten minutes at a time. Few men would think about a woman as often, except during the most extreme times of early infatuation.

I found it mentally exhausting to think about all of the things suggested here to be more loving. The good news is that no one needs to do all of these things unless they want to and it feels terrific to do so.

The most useful advice in the book comes in terms of "reframing" or seeing what a woman does in a new light. Being asked where you were isn't "checking up on you" or "over control." You are encouraged to see this as a sign of deep commitment and caring. You also learn to make an occasional telephone call to remove these anxious cross-examinations that most men despise.

Realizing that most women do put love first, want to improve things creatively (not because they are bad, but just for fun), and are focused on time allows men the opportunity to connect to that reality with less effort and with less disruption to their own lives. On the time point, time expands for men (which is why we sometimes lose track of time) while it contracts for women (filling their minds with all kinds of awful thoughts about what could be going wrong).

The book's many suggestions for how to be viewed as a better husband will undoubtedly improve many relationships. I especially liked the section on things not to say. I was impressed to realize that my wife had asked me to say one of these things to her when I thought it was true (in a loving way) because she so much did not want to have that particular problem. This was a valuable insight to me.

For younger men, the section on what is pleasing to women about sex will probably be very helpful in making that part of the relationship better for both. My favorite example here was a woman who described sex as a "three" on a scale of one to ten with ten being the highest. The man said it as a "nine." Dr. De Angelis asked the man to describe why it was a "nine." As he told what he had been thinking, his wife was thrilled and she described hearing his thoughts about her as a "ten." Sexual pleasure begins and ends in the mind, and it is easy for men to lose sight of that.

As you can see, the examples and quotes in the book are very revealing and take the masses of lists and verbiage and make them practical and easy-to-understand.

After you have finished considering this helpful book, do take the time to discuss it with your wife or girl friend. Just reading about these ideas is not enough. You have to talk about them, and then follow up on the ones that feel right for you both. By the way, it's okay to suggest a duration for the first part of this conversation in advance.

Enjoy the happiness and serenity of a better relationship!

Best of its kind I have come across
Internet browsing implies her PhD is suspect and she has 5 failed marriages behind her (maybe actually that volume of 'learning experiences' is a positive for an author of this book). Nonetheless she seems to write from the heart, with not bad understanding of where men are coming from and with what appears to be huge passion and clarity and openness about where women are coming from - it seems positive, enlightening, uplifting and helpful.
Those in marriages need to screen out some stuff about new relationships etc, but that's not too disruptive to the reading.
My recommended matching book for women to read is the absolutely tremendous and insightful 'Total Woman' by Marabel Morgan.

Wow...opens your eyes to the mind of a women!!
This book is great! Its up there with Men are from Mars Women are from Venus. Lets you see how a women thinks and understanding them in a different way by seeing things differently. Very interesting! We'll never fully understand a womens mind but this does help a little! lol