Product Description

Determined to save her family from starvation in the face of marauding Gnez troops, Ludmila Derev appears on a Russian bride website. Thousands of miles to the west, the Heath twins are separated after spending thirty-three years conjoined at the abdomen and are suddenly plunged into a world churning with opportunity, self-empowerment and sex. Charting this unlikely meeting between East and West, "Ludmila's Broken English" is a wild, raucous and entirely original picaresque dripping with the flavours of British bacon and Russian vodka.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #54483 in Books
• Published on: 2006-11-02
• Original language: English
• Binding: Paperback
• 336 pages

Synopsis
Determined to save her family from starvation in the face of marauding Gnez troops, Ludmila Derev appears on a Russian bride website. Thousands of miles to the west, the Heath twins are separated after spending thirty-three years conjoined at the abdomen and are suddenly plunged into a world churning with opportunity, self-empowerment and sex. Charting this unlikely meeting between East and West, "Ludmila's Broken English" is a wild, raucous and entirely original picaresque dripping with the flavours of British bacon and Russian vodka.

Customer Reviews

I mean to say
I didn't buy this on the strength of VGL so perhaps that's why i was not at all disappointed by this wonderfully zany tale of disparate people and worlds colliding. The characters are no doubt farcical: Bunny and Blair, conjoined twins cut apart at 33, outcasts, desperate to fit in, desperate to get laid; Ludmila, desperate for her love and her own life with a spunky attitude and a potty mouth. The plot builds up slowly to a satisfying finale with all the main characters together in a room (with disastrous consequences). Great storytelling, I mean to say.

Not Bad, But Not Vernon.
At first I thought I'd missed the point of this story because I'd started it on a long-haul flight, and so was mentally not at 100%. That I didn't finish the book on said flight says something about this book methinks.

There are two very distinct plotlines - one following formerly conjoined twins (Gordon and Blair..!) who have been de-institutionalised and are trying to come to terms with the outside world and their sudden ability to interact with it separately; and the other about a very poor family living in a very poor, war-torn region of Eastern Europe trying to survive starvation, war and corrupt officialdom. These plots only link very late in the book, and not particularly satisfyingly - books with last page punch lines are not my cup of tea.

The dialogue of the Eastern Euros is jarring at first, but enjoyable. It does, however, feel like Everything Is Illuminated was the inspiration for this style. The dialogue between the twins to me is the writing of an Australian who knows sort of how two English lads may speak. It just didn't work for me. The relationship of co-dependence, love and hatred is very well written though.

I certainly didn't dislike this novel, but I also wasn't particularly interested in seeing what happened with the main characters, and wasn't making time to read more, just picking the book up at slow points through my week.

Not Vernon GL but worth a read
My simple analysis for this read is :

Vernon GL = 10 (at least) irresitably genuine belly laugh moments
Ludmilla = 1 (the fart line :-)

The ending is rushed culminating in a unfulfilling and dissapointing final chapter, I got the feeling DBC was bored and wanted it done. Overall though I think defintely worth a read to enjoy the brilliant characterisations and dialogue, both of which shine.

Keep going DBC - I'll be looking forward to your next work.