Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #321672 in Books
• Published on: 1996-02
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 208 pages

Synopsis
IN

Customer Reviews

Inspiring
This beautiful book affirms women's lives, their choices, and their achievements, whether or not parenthood turned out to be a part of it.

Radically, the author suggests you should look deeply at your own characteristics and background to determine what outcome would be best for you - and accept the result. For instance, what is your tolerance of interruption? How was your relationship with each of your parents? Is having a child likely to bring up unpleasant experiences from the past that are best left in the past? Rather than railroading you into changing yourself through counselling if you are disinclined towards reproduction (as does the awful 'I Want a Baby, He Doesn't' by Donna Wade, which I have reviewed elsewhere), Safer shows how you can play your characteristics to your advantage in your choice and determine for yourself what is likely to make you happy and satisfied.

The author freely shares her own story, which is poignant: she was one of the two-thirds of (later to be childless) women who are 'postponers', unsure whether they want children, and she describes the process that many of these went through in order to reach resolution, along with the stories of some of the other one-third, 'early deciders', who always knew they never wanted a baby. If you are unsure about the prospect of motherhood, or leaning towards giving it a miss, you will find yourself in here somewhere. There is a useful checklist in the appendix which you can use to help you achieve resolution if you are not sure.

Although focussing on the child-free, Safer's discussion is not one-sided; she includes description of various women who did go ahead and have children, their joys and regrets, and points out that no-one can have it all in one lifetime - there are sacrifices either way. No mother or prospective mother could feel maligned, yet the childfree and those resistant to having children will feel affirmed, supported, and part of a community of lively and richly likeable women (described in the book) who have had full and rewarding lives without biologically reproducing.

I read this book in a single evening, and I'll be reading it again whenever I doubt my own decision-making process or feel under pressure, or just need a bit of uplift in the knowledge that women can lead fabulous, satisfying lives.

interesting and affirming
An interesting and thought provoking book about one of lifes most difficult choices. I found it very comforting to read - although maybe a little dated i think alot of the feelings and ideas that are expressed still feel relevant.