Product Description

If you think writing a guidebook is easy, think again…

"‘Hurry up,’ I shout at Dinah, whilst on the overhead telly Ray Mears’ Survival is playing extraordinarily loudly because Charlie sat on the volume button of the remote. The kids writhe about in the V05 shampoo they just spilt, laughing as the last of their clean clothes bite the dust, and I’m thinking: ‘Survive driving round England with two under 4s, staying at a different hotel each night and visiting four or five attractions a day and sometimes a restaurant in the evening. Sleep all in the same room, go to bed at 7 p.m. after having had no evening to yourself, wake up at 7 a.m. and do it all again the next day with the prospect of another 140 nights of the same – then come and tell me about survival in your khaki ****ing shorts, Ray.’"

They were bored, broke, burned out and turning 40. So when Ben and his wife Dinah were approached to write a guidebook about family travel, they embraced the open road, ignoring friends’ warnings: 'One of you will come back chopped up in a bin bag in the roof box.'

Featuring deadly puff adders, Billie Piper’s pyjamas and a friend of Hitler’s, it’s a story about love, death, falling out, moving on and growing up, and 8,000 misguided miles in a Vauxhall Astra.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #77 in eBooks
• Published on: 2011-08-29
• Released on: 2011-08-29
• Format: Kindle eBook
• Number of items: 1

Review
'disastrous five-month trip around Britain with two small children. The object... to write a travel guide.' -- The Bookseller, 29th April 2011

'mad-cap five-month tour of Britain... it turns out not to be quite the odyssey they had expected.' -- The Bookseller, 13th May 2011

"Ben Hatch makes me laugh." -- John Cleese

"A voyage of pain, suffering, argument, baby wipes, discovery and utter delight...Never travel in a car with children without this book by your side." -- Sir Terry Wogan

"A funny, touching cross country jaunt that's as much about being a kid as it is about being a grown up." -- Danny Wallace

“A wonderful book - hilarious and moving, all at the same time. Highly recommended for anyone with a family, a car or a sense of humour." -- Sophie Kinsella

“This is about a living, loving, occasionally quarrelsome but clearly very happy marriage and it felt curiously life-affirming to read about it. It’s very warts and all, extremely funny, very human and very sad. If you liked One Day or just like good books in general, don’t let this one pass you by.” -- Jenny Colgan

"Funny, touching and so, so, true to life. The must read of the year!" -- Mike Gayle

"Refreshing, insightful, very funny." -- Joanne Harris

"A wonderful book. Terribly moving and so so funny." -- Richard Briers

"Brilliant. Outnumbered in a car. I absolutely loved it. Funny, honest and moving." -- Tim Brooke-Taylor

“Very funny and equally moving. Ben Hatch is one of my favourite writers.” -- Lisa Jewell

"If you're dreading a weekend car trip with small children this book can't fail t`o cheer you up." -- The Mirror

"Hatch humorously recounts his 8000 mile odyssey round Britain with his wife and two small children." -- The Times

From the Author
How my wife and I came to argue over which was the better owl - barn or tawny. How you change a nappy using nothing but a KFC Lemonfresh wipe. How to cope with a tortoise-phobic wife who drives like Mr Magoo. How to steal hotel buffet breakfasts and turn them into lunch. What to do when your trousers are so crusty with dirt you do not so much take them off at night as ....lean them up against things. How to cope with a car crash, a kidney stone, a nature wee in field of live ordnance, bat attacks and confrontations with puff adders, a Nazi and Billie Pipper's pyjamas. This is the story of how my family survived 8000 miles in a Vauxhall Astra.