Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #57977 in Books
• Published on: 1992
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 304 pages

Synopsis
A guide to living in a committed love relationship offers advice on how to end power struggles, balance needs, overcome blocks, and remove impediments to pleasure.

Customer Reviews

A must read for anyone who wants deeper intimacy.
The Hendricks reveal the blocks to intimacy and happiness in human relationships. They expose problems as opportunities to explore our own blind spots. I have read this book several times over the last few years and give these methods complete credit for the joyous, fulfilling relationship I have had for the last three years. The book shows you how to be honest, take responsibility for yourself, and explore the core perceptions that sabotage your happiness. I have recommended this book to friends more than any other book I have read. If you want to get past your cycles of blame and pain, this is the book for you.

One possibility for resolving the intimacy/autonomy dilemma
The book is good in talking about couple communication. They do a good job discussing principles in relationships as well as pitfalls/pitfall management. I think that their resolution of the intimacy/autonomy is correct, but I think that they oversimplify that dilemma itself. Only other problem that I have with the book is that they overemphasize parental influence and the need to go back to your past to solve unhealthy behavioral patterns. Their concept of "co-commitment" is interesting. What I find curious, though, is that they assume that it is simple to become "co-committed" and that couples are either co-committed or co-dependent (a little too black and white for me). If a couple has some unhealthy patterns, then that does not mean that they have a dysfunctional relationship (but according to them, the relationship would be dysfunctional). In their defense, I think they present extreme examples to emphasize their principles. They rightly promote the need for accepting responsibility for one's own actions but do not point out the impact of chemical imbalance and mood disorders.

Shines loving light onto destructive patterns.
After two divorces, it took reading this book to uncover the destructive patterns which plagued those relationships. "Conscious Loving" helped illuminate the underlying causes of those patterns so that I could lovingly accept responsibility, AND make new choices. My partner and I have both read the book and find that we are healing old wounds, and experiencing the deep intimacy we'd always craved -- but had never before achieved. I highly recommend that you keep a journal while you read this book to capture the revelations that are sure to follow.