Product Description

From the world's most-acclaimed expert on verbal abuse comes the first book that answers the question foremost in every woman's mind: can he really change? Combining practical applications with the latest clinical research with the trademark support and assurance of Evans, "The Verbally Abusive Man: Can He change?" shows victims of verbal abuse how to empower themselves, improve their relationships, and change their lives for the better.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #193899 in Books
• Published on: 2006-12-29
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 288 pages

About the Author
Patricia Evans (Alamo, CA) is the bestselling author of four books and a highly acclaimed interpersonal communications specialist, public speaker and consultant. She's appeared on Oprah, CNN, national radio and in Newsweek and O, The Oprah Magazine.

Customer Reviews

Delving deeper into the "Irrational Mr Hyde" - we find his partner doesn't exist ... for she is a part of himself ...
I spent the weekend reading 4 books - this was the last one (I thought it might be the least interesting / repeat stuff I'd already read). How wrong! - I cannot begin to put into words HOW I FELT on reading this amazing book ... ALL the books helped in different ways (about the nature of Charming & Abusive Men - authors: Lundy Bancroft, Sandra Horley, Ann Jones) with the various influences (male dominance, religion, belief systems) & character types

But this one was different ...

Since I "discovered" / "woke up to" the word CONTROL I have been keen to try and understand my own particular situation, before I read anything - although I did look at clinical definitions of Aspergers / BPD & viewed Bullying info online ...

J is my (verbally abusive) second husband & it has been impossible to live with him - I am an intelligent professional and in a period of just over 4 years (12 years ago) I found I was barely able to talk / relate to the counsellors when we (myself & 2 sons) found ourselves in the Refuge (and it was MY HOME he had forced us from), I was so unbelievably confused having assimilated a lot of the "irrational" from him.

Yet I still care about him & I have kept seeing him & remaining friendly, fearful of divorce (which is happening now our son is 16) I knew there was something terribly wrong in him (but it was mostly only around me!) but I have learnt that in the end only HE can help himself - but with this book (1) I am allowing myself to acknowledge how much damage has been done to me; PLUS (2) I may be able to find "closure" by following Patricia Evans' suggestions - ie. "The Agreement" ... J, highly intelligent, well-read, has always been in denial & dismisses "psychobabble", so I think it highly unlikely he will "wake up", but he may ...

I can't know if this book will help people UNDERSTAND what it's like to be abused, for those who haven't experienced abuse - as it is far too REAL to me, but it does show people that there may be a REASON for it in the man's arrested emotional dvelopment due to a traumatic childhood - yes, the cycle of abuse.

If I can do just one thing in my life - help my sons fully to connect with their emotional side - that's all I want.

And this book will help.

An important resource for determining if an abusive man can change
Communication specialist Patricia Evans explores the issue of verbal abuse in heterosexual relationships. She builds on her previous work in The Verbally Abusive Relationship and Controlling People by posing the question, "Can a verbally abusive man really change?" What is particularly startling about verbal abuse, Evans explains, is that in almost every case the abuser feels that he is the one being attacked. (Rarely, abusers are female, but such cases aren't discussed in this book.) Getting him to own up to his damaging behavior is not easy. Motivating him to change is even more difficult. Evans supplies tools you can use to determine if your partner is likely to change and a program that can help him do so, if you think he can alter his abusive behavior. Evans uses her book as a pulpit to preach against unqualified therapists, verbal abuse in all its forms and the male-dominated society that has made such abuse possible. But, her cause is just, and we recommend this important resource to anyone who is struggling to survive an abusive relationship and to therapists who are seeking solid information.