Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #46665 in Books
• Published on: 2001-05-01
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 300 pages

Synopsis
This text offers an affirming, sex-positive approach to recovery from incest and rape. Staci Haines encourages women to learn how to say "yes" to their own desires and on their own terms.

Customer Reviews

Wonderful, sensitive and POSITIVE book
I can only agree with the first reviewer. This is a great book. Staci Haines handles the difficult subject of the practical implications of sexual abuse on adults' sex lives, and how to healthily move on from it in a sensitive, open minded and very positive manner. The book features many quotes from survivors on different issues and viewpoint, sometimes contrasting to each other, and relating some of your own thoughts and feelings to another survivors', not just the author's, is very powerful indeed, especially for those who do not go to a group therapy. The feeling of being "all alone" or "the only one in the world who thinks that / reacts like this" is just blown away, as the author shines a light on the hidden negative messages and attitudes within us, and makes them more manageable. This is a workbook, and contains a lot of practical exercises, as well as a wealth of resources. Imagery is cute, humorous and adorable, and the tone is light and friendly, yet very sensitive and inclusive. When I first saw the "Checking In" point, where the author takes a minute to make the reader check they are still in the present and not zoning out, due to reading potentially triggering material, I felt more touched than I thought a book could convey.

This book is very important, asserting the need for all adults to be able to express themselves sexually, for their own health, and this option not to be taken away from survivors as "something to come back to when the healing is done", but actually something to actively involve in the healing process, in the connection between body and soul and everything between.

Highly recommended, also for partners of survivors, the book contains a brilliant section for them, too.

Sense & Sensitivity
I went in to a bookstore with a simple request; "Do you have anything written by lesbians for lesbians, concerning how to have empowered sex after rape". No one seemed to be able to come up with any useful suggestions and I thought all hope was lost. Until, that is, I discovered this book. It is not specifically aimed at lesbians, or even women only. Everyone who wishes to be able to enjoy sex after the pain of abuse will find help here. It is also an essential aid for anyone who is having sex with someone who has been through the trauma of non-consensual abuse. It is informative, sensitive and very well written. Its chapters cover areas such as personal triggers, communication of fears, letting go of the physical trauma, and masturbation, right up to BDSM if that's your thing. It also includes a comprehensive resource section. Finally we have a guide in what can only be described as an isolated wilderness. When you think no one will ever be able to help and you are completely alone, Staci Haines has come through for all of us. If you have any issues around sex which stem from childhood abuse or adult rape, or if you are the partner of someone who has been through this, you may well find the help, support and advice that you are looking for here. Thank you Staci.