Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #14208 in Books
• Published on: 1993
• Original language: English
• Binding: Paperback
• 292 pages

Amazon.co.uk Review
A classic and unique self-help book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus tackles the perennial problems faced by couples everywhere. Gray tells an allegorical story of the Venusians and the Martians who move to Earth, having enjoyed wonderful and fulfilling relationships with one another for many years. However, as soon as they arrive on this planet, amnesia sets in! They can no longer remember that they are from different planets and all sorts of communication and emotional problems set in. Written in an unpretentious and jargon- free style, Gray's tactic of using "Venusian" and "Martian" to refer to the two genders (and he does comment that these roles are not necessarily based on sexual biology) avoids the dead-end path followed by so many people, of using sweeping statements such as: "men always…" or "women just don't understand…". Instead, he says: "Remember, Venusians are from a different planet, therefore…" or, "Martians need…" This in itself is worthwhile tactic, removing blame-culture and shifting communication onto a new level where it is OK not to be on the same wavelength all the time and not to automatically understand all your partner's needs. His new naming strategy even manages to be amusing, in a way that many books in this area can fail to be, although the writing tends towards over-simplicity at times.

He discusses every aspect of relationships--but most importantly he does this in practical ways. For example, he lists common statements that a person in a relationship say to their partner, what that person intends them to mean and what the person to whom it is directed actually hears, or thinks they mean. Gray goes on to suggest ways to say what you intended that are more appropriate for the Venusian or Martian audienc--he even compiles lists of translations of common male/female exchanges.

Each chapter takes situations from either the Venusian or Martian side, making the book easy to dip into, as well as enjoyable to read cover to cover. The case for each interplanetary race is put simply and in a very down-to-earth manner, and the book avoids trying to be too clever for its own good.

Some tips from the book: Venusians take note--Martians also have monthly cycles of emotions, and need to retreat into their "cave" every now and then, so Venusians needn't feel shut out when their favourite Martian retreats without a word. The Martians could help by telling the Venusians that while they are retreating right now, they will soon be back out and they will then discuss any concerns the Venusians have. Martians should be reassured that, although Venusians climb down into their well every now and then, it is not that the Martians have hurt them--they too are taking time out. Their favourite Venusian will be back soon, ready to re-embrace their closeness.

The personality of the author shines through, the tone of the book being helpful, friendly and non-judgmental, kind and well-meaning, although the self-help strategy of repeating and summarising points results in the book seeming somewhat directionless. It is nevertheless an essential title for the bookshelf of every self-respecting self-help addict, and is a good place to start for the curious. It does also have some real gems of wisdom and new strategies--all in all, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus is a star guide to understanding the constellations of coupledom. --Alison Jardine

Synopsis
A practical guide for improving communication within relationships, helping both sexes get what they want from love and friendship. The author encourages readers to accept the other gender's particular way of expressing love and helps men and women accept each other's emotional needs.

About the Author
John Gray is a therapist and author. His books include the best-selling Men Are From Mars, Women

Are From Venus, Men Women and Relationships and Mars and Venus in the Bedroom.

He has a doctorate in psychology and, in addition to his private practice for relationship therapy, has

conducted seminars in major cities for twenty years. He lives in northern California, with his wife,

Bonnie, and their three children.

An internationally recognized expert in the fields of

communication and relationships, John Gray's

unique focus is assisting men and women in

understanding, respecting, and appreciating their

differences. For more than twenty years, he has

conducted public and private seminars to thousands

of participants. In his highly acclaimed books,

audiotapes and videotapes, as well as in his

enlightening lectures and stimulating weekend

seminars, Gray entertains and inspires audiences

with his practical insights and easy-to-use

communication techniques that can be immediately

applied to enrich relationships.

John Gray is a popular speaker on the national

lecture circuit and often appears on television and

radio programs to discuss his work. He has made

guest appearances on such shows as: Oprah, Good

Morning America, The Today Show, Live With Regis,

The View, Politically Incorrect, Larry King Live, The

Roseanne Show, CNN and Company, and many

others. He has been profiled in USA Today, Time

Magazine, TV Guide, People Magazine, New Age

Journal, Forbes, and numerous major newspapers

across the U.S

Dr. Gray's nationally syndicated column reaches 30

million readers in many newspapers.

Internationally, the column appears

in publications in England, Canada, Korea, Mexico

and Israel. The column reaches more than 10 million

readers weekly. Dr. Gray is also a columnist for

Redbook, Brides and Parents magazines.

Dr. Gray is a Certified Family Therapist, Consulting

Editor of The Family Journal, a member of the

Distinguished Advisory Board of the International

Association of Marriage and Family Counselors, a

Fellow and Diplomate of the American Board of

Medical Psychotherapists and

Psychodiagnosticians, and a member of the

American Counseling Association.

Customer Reviews

Gives a whole new insight as how different men & women are.
In his book John Gray looks at the way men and women differ. How they are in fact very different animals. How men can be silent and quiet at just the time when women need them to talk. How men offer solutions when a women talks to him while she only wants an ear to listen (and I mean listen not pretend to). He explores many other areas where we differ. He lays out step by step methods to improve, repair and set relationships alight. I would suggest that everyone should read it who is in a relationship, whether they think it is good or otherwise.

He also looks at friends, collegues and other relationships.

The 13 chapters look at different parts of relationships, teach how to allow space, time and understanding to relationships. How to communicate, how to resolve conflict, leading to how to avoid conflict. I read it the first time in 3 days. It is a book to re-read there is always something more to gain from the pages.

He explores techniques of letter writing to resolve arguments. They work!

Throughout the book he uses examples from both his personal life and from his practice.

John Gray's writing is easy to read and keeps the reader's interest.

I really have benefited from this fantastic work.

Thank you John.

I used to think this book would be rubbish............
.......but now I believe that it has saved my marriage. After years of conflict, when only finance kept us together, plus the fear of being alone, I and my husband have entered into a new phase of our relationship. We have both read this amazing book, and we finally understand both ourselves and each other. Right from the first page, you feel as if you are reading about YOURSELF. And about your partner. And about the dynamic of your marriage or relationship. It is quite extraordinary. We are not unique, we are not alone. PLEASE read this book - even if you think you have a happy relationship. Maybe your partner feels differently, but dare not say so. So both read it. Do it now. A stitch in time.

Every Man and Woman should read this book.
I finally understand why my husband, and men in general, sometimes seem to speak a different language - we do! An excellent book and easy reading. Highly recommended to anyone interested in communicating effectively with the opposite sex.