Product Description

What to do if Matthew, your secret lover of the past four years, finally decides to leave his wife Sophie and their two daughters and move into your flat, just when you’re thinking that you might not want him anymore . . . PLAN A Stop shaving your armpits. And your bikini lineTell him you have a moustache that you wax every six weeks Stop having sex with him Pick holes in the way he dressesDon’t brush your teeth. Or your hair. Or pluck out the stray hag-whisker that grows out of your chinBuy incontinence pads and leave them lying around PLAN B Accidentally on purpose bump into his wife Sophie Give yourself a fake name and identity Befriend Sophie Actually begin to really like Sophie Snog Matthew’s son (who's the same age as you by the way. You’re not a paedophile) Buy a cat and give it a fake name and identity Befriend Matthew’s children. Unsuccessfully Watch your whole plan go absolutely horribly wrong Getting Rid of Matthew isn’t as easy as it seems, but along the way Helen will forge an unlikely friendship, find real love and realize that nothing ever goes exactly to plan . . .

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #35910 in Books
• Published on: 2007-01-04
• Original language: English
• Binding: Paperback
• 416 pages

Review
'This witty first novel is a complete winner. It's comic, touching and the narrative races along at breakneck speed' Daily Express

The Big Issue, Jan 2007
`a punchy piece of inverted chicklit'

Eve, Jan 2007
`A fast and furious read'

Customer Reviews

This One's Good !
If your intrigue is mistresses and affairs then you'll love this book. It's witty and grown up, heartbreaking and sad, bitchy and friendly all at once. It's real life told from many viewpoints and talks a lot of truth and common sense. The main female, Helen, is the mistress and has been for a patient four years. Over a sad Christmas she decides that she's had enough and this is the end for her and Matthew, her boss, whilst Matthew also having a disastrous Christmas decides to leave his wife and two daughters and takes it for granted that he can move in with Helen. Without spoiling the rest of the story for any potential readers, it's quite obvious that Helen's difficulty is trying to get Matthew out of her home and regain her independence without hurting his feelings. I found this book unputdownable - it's an excellent story with loads of wit and clever humour, there's never a dull moment and I can't wait for a second novel from Jane Fallon.

unputdownable
It must be the author's writing skills that keep you mesmorised, as it is rare that I cannot bear to put a book down for more then five minutes, so keen was I to find out what happens.

To sum up: Matthew- married to Sophie but having an affair with Helen. Leaves Sophie and his two daughters for Helen. Helen realises she doesn't want Matthew and spends the rest of the time doing as the cover suggests- trying to get rid of him. Along the way, Helen befriends Sophie, without revealing her true identity and snogs Matthew's grown up son.

The book is utterly compelling. Helen is horrid but you almost get to like her, as she knows she is and does try to redeem herself. Matthew is a faithless feckless husband and Sophie is no push over.

The book rang very true to life and I urge any woman contemplating an affair to read this book. What is does highlight is the pain and destruction infidelity causes. It is not a romantic love story and can only end in tears. The mistress sacrifices her own chance of a career, family and friends simply for some time with middle aged Matthew. The wife dedicates her life to her family, only to discover that it is all based on lies and deception.

Really, really great. I am looking forward to Fallon's next novel!

A Very Unexpected Delight
What a lovely surprise this book turned out to be. I very rarely read anything that falls into the "chick lit" category as I find most of it nauseating. However, after having spent half of Saturday in a bookshop getting increasingly annoyed with myslef because I couldn't find anything I fancied reading, I picked this up on a whim. After the first page I was hooked and the whole thing took me less than 2 days to read. I LOVED IT!!!!

This is the story of Helen, late thirties, Secretary, who has been having an affair with Matthew, a married older man, for 4 years and desperate for him to leave his wife and move in with her. One Christmas he does just that, and that's when Helen decides that she doesn't actually want him anymore. The rest of the book is spent with Helen trying to find ways to get rid of Matthew, including befriending his ex-wife (in disguise as Eleanor) and trying to get her to take him back.

I thoroughtly enjoyed this book, and all the more so because I didn't expect to. I found it a real page turner and I am actually really disappointed now I've finnished it. Highly recommended I hope you enjoy as much as I did.