Product Description

We could tell you about the bodies. We could tell you their names, where they were found, the state they were in. We could tell you about the suspects too, the evidence, the investigators; join a few dots, even throw you a motive. But what would be the point? You're going to make your own assumptions anyway. After all, you know these people, don't you? You went to school with them. We all did. Granted, that was twenty years ago, but how much does anybody really change? Exactly. So if you really knew them then, you'll already have all the answers. If you really knew them then Put on your uniform and line up in an orderly fashion for the funniest and most accurate trip back to the classroom you are likely to read, as well as a murder mystery like nothing that has gone before it. Forget the forensics: only once you've been through school with this painfully believable cast of characters will you be equipped to work out what really happened decades later. Even then, you'll probably guess wrong and be made to stand in the corner.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #12785 in Books
• Published on: 2007-04-05
• Original language: English
• Binding: Paperback
• 416 pages

Amazon.co.uk Review
Of all writers practising what might loosely be called crime fiction today, Christopher Brookmyre is the one who lends himself least easily to categorisation. There are those eccentric titles, for a start: such as the latest one: A Tale Etched in Blood and Hard Black Pencil. This unwieldy title (as often before) gives an indication of the sardonic quality of his writing, and in that, Brookmyre is reminiscent of his great American colleague, Carl Hiaasen. Like Hiaasen, too, Brookmyre favours eccentric and outrageous plots, but there is always a strong grounding in reality, which gives the humour a decidedly bitter edge.

Internet contact between ex-school friends these days leads to some disturbing encounters, and Brookmyre's version of the scenario is typically murderous. Brookmyre is interested in whether or not the index to future of violent behaviour might be discerned in the school playground. DS Karen Gillespie is bemused by a cack-handed attempt at burning a pair of bodies; this takes place outside Glasgow (in fact, in the area in which she grew up). And in a nearby lodge, strange attempts have been made to clean up what appears to be the same crime, but (as a pathologist points out), everything here is handled as maladroitly as the murder. Two suspects appear, but when Karen discovers that they were at primary school together (along with one of the murder victims), things begin to look like a grisly version of Friends Reunited.

Brookmyre readers will know exactly what to expect from this scenario, and they won't be disappointed. If the level of invention is not as delirious as in previous books, Karen Gillespie is as quirkily characterised as ever.

--Barry Forshaw

Review
*'Moments of exquisite Brookmyre inspiration' Guardian *'This is the book I would want if I were marooned on a desert island or lost in space' Independent *'Definitely in a league of his own.' Mirror *A sharp, memorable and occasionally surprisingly

Irish Examiner
`A deviously clever crime novel...If you're looking for a breath
of fresh air in this genre, then look no further'

Customer Reviews

A Kick Up The Eighties
“Are they deid? Jesus Johnnybags, are they both deid? F-‘s sake, man, answer us. F-‘s sake.”

Right from the opening line there’s no mistaking the author’s voice. A dozen or so f-words and derivations and a couple of c-words down the page from another couple of typical incompetent “bampot” killers attempting to dispose of two dead bodies with the assistance of substances purchased from the local B&Q’s chemical cleaner department confirm the impression - we are most definitely in a new Christopher Brookmyre novel.

Yet, despite the familiarity of the opening dialogue and the situation, Brookmyre manages to find a new spin on his hilariously profane crime novels. Reminiscent of the memories fired-up in the old school-reunion situation of ‘One Fine Day in The Middle of the Night’, Brookmyre goes back even further this time and reminisces on the bonds formed between a group of children who all start school together at St. Elizabeth’s Primary in Braeside – all depicted in detail, year by year from primary one through to sixth form - with the author’s typical wit and keenness of observation. It adds considerable charm to the backgrounds of the characters who we later find mixed up in a multiple homicide many years later, as well as giving us the joy of seeing Brookmyre stretch his writing skills.

This time around, the ultra-violence is relegated to a welcome second place in favour of a spot-on account of growing up during the 70s up to the mid-80s. There are more schoolyard punch-ups than terrorist attacks in his new novel, but Brookmyre has a whole childhood of classroom incidents, slaggings and humiliations to draw on here and the writing is just as witty, inventive and foul-mouthed as ever, as Martin – now a bigshot lawyer, well-known to celebrity magazines – returns home to help out an old friend from school who has gotten mixed up in a particularly gruesome situation, that can only be explained by other ex-school friends knowledge of their time growing up together. The usual pyrotechnics aren’t there in the crime plot and it feels like just an excuse of the author to indulge in a hilariously funny and nostalgic account of growing up, but its perceptive writing with characters and situations will be recognisable by anyone. This is quite brilliant and easily one of Brookmyre’s best.

Another result from a consistently good writer
No explosions in this one, but all the other Brookmyre hallmarks are there - an intricate plot, complex and believable characters and a hefty dose of dry humour. It's easy to make comparisons with his earlier school-reunion book One Fine Day In The Middle Of The Night, but if anything this is slightly grimmer and more adult. This is probably due to the aforementioned lack of explosions, but also because he takes the brave step of killing off a character that you've come to care about (not a spoiler, don't worry; the body is discovered in the very first sentence).
The book opens with short scenes alternating between two panicked guys trying to hide some bodies, and the police discovering the remains shortly afterwards. An unfortunately-placed page break had me briefly confused, as it made it look like the police were doing the inept body-disposal themselves, but that was just bad layout - one thing you can be sure of with Brookmyre is that his characters are never going to act in inappropriate ways for the sake of a plot device. The first two criminals - old classmates of both the detective and the victim - are quickly apprehended, but of course it's not as simple as that (or it'd be a very short book). The subsequent police-procedural murder investigation then takes something of a back seat, as we go back to follow the characters' journey through the horrors of primary school, to see what clues can be found there.
This is a welcome return to classic, old-style murder mystery, where villains can be tracked down by unravelling the background and the motives - Patricia Cornwell and her forensic-detecting ilk are all very well, but as bad guys go, motiveless psychopaths are a bit of a cop-out. Here, Brookmyre is in his element, building a convincing past for all the main players, interspersed with the ongoing investigation and how they all interact as adults; as ever, his characters are made of real blood and bone, and you end up sympathising with even the worst of them.
I won't be giving anything away by saying the ending is unexpected - it is a mystery, after all. However, there's no gimmicky twist or Agatha Christie triteness, just an ending that ties it all up and seems entirely natural. Overall, a very satisfying read.

A Big Boy Did It And Ran Away
The 10th Christopher Brookmyre book written and the 10th I have read. I loved the concept by painting the stories of all the victims and suspects of a brutal double murder as school kids could you deduce what happened ?

It will certainly help if you are 30+ for being able to relate the school Brookmyre talks about as the school you attended. This is his shortest book since the Quite Ugly debut and I think he could have added to it without having spoiled anything. I really enjoyed that the school parts were written from several different voices and so you weren't just having 1 central character. The scottish slang is thick in this book however there is a very tongue in cheek glossary at the back which is hilarious even when read seperate from the book.

After having seen International espionage and elaborate heists in his last books it was great to almost celebrate the small town location and mentality of this book.

A great read and I'll be checking frequently for number 11