Product Description

Life for Linda Caine should hold no fears. As a contented wife and mother, she should have everything to live for. Yet a blackness has started to leak into her thoughts. Images flash through her head leaving her stunned and breathless. On the face of it there is no rational explanation for the way she feels. Linda believes there is something malign inside her. But in the back of her mind a voice tells her over and over again that everything will be OK. When it finally gets too much, she can always simply die. 'How shall I die if that time comes? I need to know these things. They have to be planned.' It must look like an accident. She will deliberately drive off the road on her way home from her weekly shopping trip. After all, who commits suicide with a load of groceries in their car? The raw and powerful journey Linda takes with her psychotherapist Robin Royston to discover what lies at the heart of her deptression will leave you shocked. The secrets in her African childhood and adolescence are buried so deep that to reveal them may destroy her completely. Together Linda and Robin race to unravel the clues, before it is too late. OUT OF THE DARK is Linda Caine's remarkable and uplifting story from the agonies of mental breakdown to the painful piecing together of the past that was vital for her survival. Both her courage and Robin's persistence during the process show the power of the human spirit at its most indomitable and inspiring.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #92678 in Books
• Published on: 2004-04-12
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 448 pages

From the Back Cover
Life for Linda Caine should hold no fears. As a contented wife and mother, she should have everything to live for. Yet a blackness has started to leak into her thoughts. Images flash through her head leaving her stunned and terrified. On the face of it, there is no rational explanation for the way she feels.
But Linda believes there is something bad inside her. At the back of her mind a voice tells her over and over again that everything will be OK. When it finally gets too much, she can always simply die. ‘How shall I die if that time comes? I need to know these things. They have to be planned.’ It must look like an accident. She will drive off a cliff on her way home from her weekly shopping trip. After all, who commits suicide with a load of groceries in their car?
The raw and powerful journey that Linda takes with her psychiatrist Robin Royston to discover what lies at the heart of her depression will leave you breathless. The secrets in her African childhood and adolescence are buried so deep that to reveal them may destroy her completely. Nothing is what it seems, no-one is above suspicion. Together Linda and Robin race to unravel the clues, before it is too late…

About the Author
Linda Caine is a self taught artist and calligrapher. Her work is in private collections in Africa, the Isle of Man, England, and the United States of America.
Robin Royston is a practising psychotherapist who specializes in trauma- based problems stemming from childhood. He has published papers and lectures extensively in this field.

Excerpted from Out of the Dark by Linda Caine, Robin Royston. Copyright © 2003. Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
January 1988
Linda Caine
The buzzing is too muffled to wake me completely but too loud to ignore. How long will Gary let it ring? I can picture him in his bedroom upstairs, buried in his duvet so that only his dishevelled brown hair is visible. I know exactly what he's done - put the alarm clock under his pillow. That son of mine could sleep through World War Three. I wonder what dream he's woken from this morning. Has he been slaying dragons, or scoring the winning try at Twickenham? What worldly wrongs has he put right since I kissed him goodnight? The sound stops suddenly. Gary has found the 'snooze' button and given himself another ten minutes before the alarm rings again.
Chris shifts beside me and I can feel the warmth of his
chest against my back. I turn quietly and look at him. His face is pressed against the pillow and his lips are slightly parted. A few streaks of grey are visible in his black hair. We have been married for fourteen years but first met each other in primary school. Like most boys he didn't think much of girls back then, but that soon changed. Now I could happily lie beside him for ever.
Upstairs, Gary's alarm clock buzzes again. This time he manages to ignore it totally. Slipping out of bed, I pull on a pair of jeans and a thick woollen jumper. As I sit on the bed, lacing my sneakers, Chris opens one eye.
'Why did we get Gary an alarm clock?' he asks, sleepily.
'So that he'd get out of bed in the morning.'
'It hasn't worked.'

'Obviously.'
There are paint pots and throw rugs piled near the top of the stairs. Wallpaper samples stand upright in a roller tray, next to my spirit level and cordless drill.
Downstairs in the kitchen, I find Christy sitting at the breakfast table, studying the side panel of a cereal box. She is already dressed in her school uniform and has her dark hair in a ponytail.
'Have you seen how much salt they put in this?' she says earnestly.
'No.'
'I really think we should choose a cereal with less salt.'
'OK.'
Being lectured on healthy eating by an eight-year-old is fairly normal in our household. Christy is our moral compass - declaring which brands of tuna we should buy (to save dolphins) or insisting that we only eat free-range eggs. Sometimes I look at her and wonder if she hasn't skipped a few years of childhood.
With the kettle about to boil, I yell up the stairs: 'Gary Caine, if I have to come up there and drag you out of bed then you'll be gated after school. Do you hear me? There'll be no going to Stacey's house or to the park. You have five minutes.'
I don't bother waiting for a reply. Somehow Gary always knows how to judge his morning appearances to perfection, or at least to within an inch of being OK. How can my children be so different? Christy is always ready for school on time, homework done and school bag packed, whereas any moment now Gary will come leaping down the stairs, shirt hanging out, hair uncombed and school tie scrunched in his breast pocket. He'll pour too many cornflakes into his bowl so they spill out when he adds the milk. Then he'll wipe his mouth on his sleeve, scoff his toast in four bites and give me the most angelic smile imaginable.
As if on cue, he appears, slides onto a chair and reaches for the cereal box. He pours too many cornflakes into his bowl and I stifle the urge to laugh.
Gary is small for his age but if he's like my two brothers he'll suddenly spurt when he hits seventeen. I know he gets teased about his size, but he makes up for it with his boundless energy. In between each mouthful of cereal he beats out a rhythm on the table with his fingers. Chris looks up from his newspaper. 'Do you have to do that?' He disappears behind the newspaper again.
In mid-chew Gary taps the back of the paper as if knocking at a door. 'Hey, Dad.'
Chris looks over the top of the page.
'I need five quid.'
'What for?'
'The bus trip on Saturday.'
'Why didn't you tell me last night?'
'I forgot.'
Chris sighs in frustration and opens his wallet. Over the years he's learned to go with the flow when it comes to Gary. Chris works as a solicitor in Canterbury and drops Gary at school on his way to work. I always smile when I see them leaving the house - one the image of orderliness in his suit and polished shoes, the other still combing his hair as the car pulls out of the driveway.
I look at my watch. 'Five minutes, Christy.'
'Can we go now? I have a book I want to get from the library.'

'Sure.'
We walk out to the car together. In total contrast to Gary (and much to his disgust) Christy is tall for her age. She's just a few inches shorter than I am and like Gary has a smattering of freckles on her nose, particularly in the summer. I think freckles look cute, but they both hate them.
My little dark blue Metro has ice on the windows and I let it idle for a while with the heater running. I hate the cold. When it snowed last December, we took the kids sledging on Chestfield Golf Course. When we got back, I tried to make hot drinks for everyone but my hands were so cold I couldn't put my fingers together to pick up the spoon.

Customer Reviews

INCREDIBLE PERSON, INCREDIBLE LIFE, INCREDIBLE FAITH!
REVIEW OF “Out of the Dark” by Linda Caine and Robin Royston

INCREDIBLE PERSON, INCREDIBLE LIFE, INCREDIBLE FAITH!

This is the story of my sister’s life...about a quarter of it...so much had to be left out for printing purposes, and it’s a great pity. This book, however, gives the gist of her life and, of course, the core is about her breakdown, repressed memories surfacing, and her triumphant conquest of the evil which had oppressed her all her life.

I read the first very short draft about 5 years ago and through the long and, at times, very painful birth of this book, I have adamantly refused to read another word: I wanted to read the finished product with the eyes of a newcomer to the story.

Although I have known of Linda's pain-filled life, the writings hit me below the belt: I cried, whimpered and sobbed many times, and then thanked God for bringing her through her trials, battered and bruised, but WHOLE for the first time in her life. Our family will forever be in Robin's debt for his recognition of the reality of Linda's situation, the danger she was in and the determination to bring her through it and not take the easy way out by medicating her into oblivion. As he said, this would have sublimed the very real evil for a while, but it would eventually emerge again and possibly have a greater hold.

Knowing what a very difficult book this was to write and edit, I am delighted in how it turned out: the prose style is easy for a reader to follow and absorb, with everything explained in layman's terms, and Linda's and Robin's narratives flow smoothly into each other. Linda's bewilderment, desperation and determination to survive while paradoxically wanting to die, and Robin's desperation to see her through to survival and his and the Ticehurst staff's deep anxiety for her are communicated very effectively. The narrative draws the reader completely into their world - one surfaces every now and then, dazed and surprised to be in the present, and then dives right in again!

I could not put "Out of the Dark" down until I had read the final word, going without sleep, drinking gallons of coffee and using almost a box of tissues. My nose was red, my eyes sore, my chest ached, my brain felt bruised, but it was with a song in my heart, praises to God and deep gratitude to Robin that I closed the book.
The story is dramatic, heartrending, suspenseful, agonizing, amusing, interesting, thoroughly descriptive and evocative, and, most importantly, uplifting. It will hold the interest of – nay! spellbind - whoever reads it, be they adult or teen, male or female, Christian or not.

It should serve well in many fields: as a tool to show depressed individuals there IS treatment available, that they CAN come out of it with counselling and, yes, with medication as well; for those coming out of depression, that they will learn coping skills and WILL survive in their future life; for Christians, that they not feel guilty about seeking secular help as well as spiritual in finding the peace they seek; for families who have suffered with their loved ones, that they realize they CAN survive and go on.

My sister views her life as just this: as a tool to help others through their trauma, and she is very hopeful that her story will bring comfort to the suffering.

I give this book, the authors and editors an "A plus", and thank Transworld Publishing for their faith in Linda and Robin from the very beginning, and for the incredible support they have given them in this painful and, at times, very tedious process.

Incredibly moving, excellently written
I knew that this book would be heartfelt and moving; what surprised me was how well written it was. This is not the sort of book I would usually read, but the moment I picked up the book I couldn't put it down. It gripped me from beginning to end, and despite its length I finished it in a matter of days.

It is a little like Dave Pelzer's books, but I felt that it had more appeal because of the narrative style. It is told half by Linda, who is trying to understand why she is experiencing depression, and half by her pscyhologist, so you feel like you get a bigger picture of the events that are happening. It has the feeling of a detective story as you are trying to uncover the truth of the events of Linda's past, and that kept me turning the pages.

It is interesting as pure biography - the events of this woman's life as she grows up in Africa are amazing. But it is really as a thought-provoking look at what depression really feels like and the nature of abuse and how to deal with it that this book really shines. It made me both laugh and cry; it is told with refreshing honesty.

I would recommend this book to anyone who was enjoyed Dave Pelzer's books, and to anyone who has experienced or knows someone who has experienced the pain of depression or abuse.

This is a completely gripping and thoroughly moving book. I cannot recommend it more highly. Read it!

Excellently written, incredibly moving
Knowing it to be a true story, I expected Out Of The Dark to be moving, and perhaps harrowing. What surprised me was how well written this book was.

Once I picked it up I couldn't put it down. Autobiographical books can often feel a little slow, but because it was written in the style of a detective novel, uncovering the secrets of the past, it gripped me from beginning to end.

It was a little like Dave Pelz's book, 'A Child Called It' in its subject matter, but I felt had more depth as it had the analysis of Linda's psychotherapist as well as autobiography, making it a fascinating read. I can recommend it to anyone who wants to know more about how ordinary people can become suicidal and what depression and abuse looks like in real life. It is also interesting for the account of life in Africa in the 50s and 60s.

I would urge anyone vaguely interested to buy this book - this is an excellent and moving true story of a remarkable woman who survives against the odds.