Product Description

Forget about the baby for just one minute; what about you? New motherhood changes everything. Few women are prepared for the radical shifts in identity, emotional intensity and relations with friends, family and the father of their child. In this fully revised and updated edition of the classic book that first bust the conspiracy of silence surrounding the upheaval of new motherhood, Kate Figes draws on medical and historical research, the invention of 'good' motherhood as well as personal testimony to reassure new mothers everywhere that they are not only normal if they find things difficult, but also doing fine.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #105449 in Books
• Published on: 2008-08-07
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 320 pages

Review
'The complete manual of the terrors, exhaustion and passionate emotions of the post-partum existence. A classic' THE TIMES 'A sanctuary of revelation about the bafflingly contradictory experience of becoming and being a mother ... In places I laughed aloud in relieved recognition' Rebecca Abrams, INDEPENDENT ON SUNDAY '[I] salute Kate Figes's sensitive book which, admirably, helps redress the balance between the plethora of pregnancy manuals and the ridiculous paucity of advice on how to cope after' Leonie Miller, MAIL ON SUNDAY

About the Author
Kate Figes is the author of two other works of non-fiction: The Big Fat Bitch Book, The Terrible Teens - What Every Parent Needs to Know as well as two novels.

Customer Reviews

The only book that helped me understand motherhood
Having read the other nine reviews of this book, I can only assume that if we vary between one and five stars then we vary greatly in the way giving birth has affected us. I only wish I could have read this book during the first difficult weeks of having my daughter instead of four months into it, when post natal depression was still affecting me greatly. The book pulls no punches about what motherhood does to you - from a life of complete individualism to one of complete control by a tiny human! This is the only book that tells it like it is FOR SOME WOMEN - not everyone is going to feel the way Kate Figes explains yet I cannot believe that MOST women don't feel some sense of loss when they give themselves up to motherhood. This book is a self-help manual to any woman who experienced a traumatic birth and who is finding motherhood nothing like the romantic image we might have had during our pregnancies - it reassures us that it is not bad to feel negative thoughts about what we have given up and it allows us to weep quietly when we relive the difficult moments of childbirth and the days and weeks afterwards that were very bleak. The positive thoughts we can take from the book is that other women have & will continue to go through what we are experiencing and that we can begin to enjoy our babies eventually - yes, there is life after birth!

A real and very supportive guide to the period after birth
This is the book I wish I had read just after the birth of my daughter 10 months ago. Unlike the vast majority of post birth books, this is not a manual. It concentrates on the physical and psychological changes that occur to a woman putting them into context.

It presents an academic approach in an easy to access format, giving historical and sociological perspective to the way that we experience the post-birth period. For example, did you know that the concept of the mother staying home to take care of a child is a construct of the 20th Century? Before that, babies were brought up by nannies or extended family members depending on the social background of the family.

I found the sections on the impact that a baby has on friends of particular relevence. It did explain some surprising things that had been going on in my life.

I was delighted to find an unvarnished account of the problems that can be experienced which also gave full weight to the delights of motherhood and fully supported a range of childcare and lifestyle options, rather than dictating one. I have already given a copy to my best friend and would recommend it to anyone considering having a child, as well as those who have just given birth.

Take courage - you are normal!
Having really suffered from ups-and-downs after the (rather traumatic) birth of my son, it was fantastic to realise that all my reactions were completely normal and my blues were finite. I was totally unprepared for everything I would experience after the birth (people tend to be prepared up until the event and no further...) and reading Kate Figes' book gave me a lot of courage. If I was in a real 'down' mood, my partner would open the book to the appropriate page (there was always an exact description somewhere in the book about the feelings I had at that moment) and make me read it; I would soon be laughing rather than crying! This is in no way a pessimistic book - it is completely positive and realistic and a must for anyone who feels shaken by the new situation. I am now the happiest mother in the world, by the way.