Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #592880 in Books
• Published on: 1993-07
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 320 pages

Customer Reviews

what it really means to Love
Dr. Dan Allender has written an amazing book that challenges our thoughts and beliefs of what Love really is. Dr, Allender challenges our conceptions of what we think love is with the reality of bold love which is doing what's best for the person and sometimes that means that you'll hurt inside but it's just what that other person needs. Allender is a geneius.

One of the most influential and impacting books I have ever read
The authors encourage the reader to see abusers, even those in the immediate family at least as sinners or even as simpletons, fools and evil persons - as enemies. They emphasize that one should love one's enemies, but not in a weak sort of way simply forgiving years of mistreatment, or forgiving and forgetting. A strong or bold love, wants to help change the heart of the abuser as well as one's own heart. Ideally, repentance and reconciliation are the goal when a relationship has been misused, not only from person-to-person but from person-to-God. The authors admit that this is not always possible, but the abused can disarm his abuser with love (even love at a distance if necessary), and even overwhelm him so much that he might not be able to do anything else except have a lasting change of heart and ask forgiveness. They encourage the abused, whether he has been abused physically, sexually or spiritually, to be couragious enough to not only pray for their enemies but love them enough to want them restored to others and to God.

A creative and shrewd love, as modeled by Jesus Christ, is encouraged. Three different kinds of abusers are portrayed and general tips on how to disarm them and surprise them with strong and effectual love are provided. The authors portray hate, and explain how this can be turned into love. They cannot address every situation in detail, but the tips are general enough that they can apply to different abusive situations depending on the circumstances.

This book was lent to me by a counselor, and together with counseling caused me to see that I was not just in a mildly abusive situation where most would say to forgive and forget, but could take action to help myself and even help my abuser, if he is willing to be helped. This book played a major role in helping me look at my own heart and motives, and make good guesses about the heart and motives of my abuser. The description of a fool as offered in the book fit that person to the T. Armed with this information, I was able to see that the abuse in my life was much worse than I had supposed, it was even evil. I realized that I had to combat the evil, not the person that was doing it. This freed me to make decisions that were long overdue and has brought a new hope even before the final solution of the problem is yet to be seen. For the first time in years the sadness is clearing, weakness is turning into strength, and joy and peace are increasing.

The authors give no guarantee that all relationships will become whole again if Bold Love is used, this has to be desired and worked on by both sides. Bold Love may result in a relationship that ends completely, driving away those that are unable to respond to it, but the ones that do the loving don't lose, they always win because this deep kind of love improves character. The person that employs Bold Love will not be the same again, even if the person he loves with it is not able to change.

Following the advice in the book requires scrupulous honesty for the victim, and the bold love that he then holds out to his abuser may shock the other into responding, provided he has a conscience. If he is surprised enough when his abuse does not cause the anger and sadness that he intended, his heart may soften and he might be able to experience a change of heart if he is able to be honest with himself and confront the bad things he has done (The book addresses both men and women as abusers and abused). The abuser may want to apologize or ask forgiveness, this is the time at which the authors recommend open forgiveness, and the relationship may be restored. The only weakness in the book that I saw was that it did not address how to deal with sociopaths, who have no conscience and cannot experience true remorse. But for most relationships there is hope that they do not have to be continued in a damaged and pathetic state, but can be restored so that those in them have peace with each other, and if not, those that are suffering may find the strength to leave damaging relationships and gain peace this way too. This book is for those that are tired of sweeping everything under the rug. For those that are willing to look at themselves and others honestly, Bold Love offers a hope that can change them forever. I can honestly and heartily recommend Bold Love, it is one of the most influential and impacting books I have ever read.

"THINKER"
'Bold Love' is a terrific book, full of the mercy and wisdom that God has imparted to the writers. Allender and Tremper share their thoughts about many subjects with the reader in a challenging, thought provoking, and loving way. 'Bold Love' is so rich in content, that it has to rate as one of the best Christian books ever written. Allender and Tremper dig wells so deep and thoughts so provoking, that one can dive in and revel in the glory of their Spirit-led words for a long time, pulling up buckets of Godly wealth and words of living water. It is a tremendously healing book that will be of benfit to many people. The subject of the book deals with abusive, unkind, difficult, stupid, evil people and much more. It concerns the concept of forgiveness or not, our reactions in difficult circumstances, reconcilliation, loving, feeling at a loss, hating, disliking and so on. It really does take you into the depths of yourself and examines your thoughts in a Godly light. It is not a condemning book, but one in which the authors also share their own weaknesses in a revealing and humbling way. God's thoughts on the subject of love are discussed in detail that leave the reader astonished and prayerful. If I could only own two Christian books, this would be one of them - the other would be their other wonderful book 'The Cry of the Soul'. It is a difficult book to review due to the amount of thoughts and wisdom within its pages.If you underline sentences that have meaning for you, then like me, you will have to underline almost the complete book. I have read 'Bold Love' three times now, and every time find new heavenly food for thought - Tremper and Allender are two authors whose insight leaves me feeling intensley grateful.