Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #54556 in Books
• Published on: 2004-02-16
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 448 pages

Synopsis
Accompanied by case stories, a thought-provoking and compassionate guide documents the entire cycle of an affair, offering a step-by-step approach to healing and protecting monogamy after betrayal, as well as providing a new model for preventing an affair, one that preserves both marriage and friend

Customer Reviews

Buy it! It's the only book you will need
If, like I was, you are searching for help in the aftermath of infidelity, PLEASE buy this book. It's the only one you'll need. (I wasted money on several others that I haven't even opened). It is comprehensive and has obviously been written by a very experienced individual with appropriate qualifications, which makes the advice easier to take. (Even better, it hasn't got "ADULTERY" or "INFIDELITY" in big letters across the cover, which I really appreciated when reading in public!)

My partner and I used it in different ways - I read it from front to back but he took more of a "dip in/dip out" approach. Both of us felt that it was like receiving free counselling / therapy with the added advantage of taking things at our own pace in our own home. We spent considerable time reading alone and gained clarity at a confusing time. It is articulately and logically presented and, as a result, you can quote the author, using the ideas as a springboard for discussions.

It also considers the feelings and motivations of each of the three people in the relationship "triangle". This helps you to gain greater understanding and to make sense of the suituation as a whole whilst focussing on how you can move forward at a steady pace.

There are some practical ideas and examples of survivors' stories for those who choose to part but this book has mainly been written for couples who stay together and rebuild a stronger relationship. Unfortunately, you don't know where you are going to end up when you embark on the journey, which is why a comprehensive book is necessary.

it helped me move forward
I started reading this book about 4 months after finding out that my husband had had an affair with what I thought was my best friend. I wish I had had it at hand during those first horrendous weeks after discovery, when all I did was cry, think I was going crazy and upset the kids.
This book gives you advice on how to get through that initial hurricane and it shows you that what you are going through, thinking, feeling etc. is completely normal (I actually read it with a highlighter pen in my hand, highlighting all the paragraphs that applied to us).
It helps you to understand the reasons why your other half had an affair, and simply how to act around him or her when you don't know whether to kiss or punch this person!
Next it gives positive, constructive advice on how to make your relationship work again and how to strengthen it.
Five months after discovery my husband and I actually reached what appeared to be a dead end. We got past that through lots of positive thinking, counting our blessings and thanks to the positive message of this book.
If you are going through what I just went through, don't go it alone. Get all the help you can get, and read about it so you can make some sense of what appears to be incomprehensible. Good luck.

I never thought he would do that to me
I've found this book very useful and keep returning to it as I go through stages of recovery. It makes me feel 'normal'. There are sections which are applicable to all the stages of recovery and to all outcomes. I have shared parts of it with my 'cheater' and he is listening. I believe that the positive, relationship friendly approach that Shirley Glass takes will help a couple get through the betrayal and aftershocks and will, as she and other counsellors say, strengthen the marriage, PROVIDING the cheater is willing to go through the processes too. If they are not, she gives you tell-tale signs to help you realise that they are not worth the effort of 'forgiving' and should be dumped for your own good! Thankyou Shirley for writing this book and I'm so glad I found it.