Product Description

Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness is a self-help manual for this common problem, which explains why it happens and sets out practical methods of resolving it. Everyone sometimes feels foolish, embarrassed, judged or criticised, but this becomes a problem when it undermines their confidence and prevents them doing what they want to do. This easy-to-use guide, full of real-life examples, is for those who suffer from all degrees of social anxiety and shyness, for their families and friends, and for the professionals who help them: psychologists, doctors and others. Explains the many forms and causes of social anxiety. Contains a complete self-help program and work sheets. Is based on clinically proven techniques of cognitive therapy.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #7195 in Books
• Published on: 2009-07-30
• Binding: Paperback
• 336 pages

Amazon.co.uk Review
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy treats emotional disorders by changing negative patterns of thought. Gillian Butler, a consultant clinical psychologist and Fellow of the British Psychological Society, has condensed into this well-written, very readable book effective techniques for overcoming conditions such as panic attacks, depression, anxiety and addictions. Everyone who has ever felt disempowered by their embarrassment or lack of confidence, will benefit from reading this book--understanding your emotions means that it is possible to effectively manage and accept them.

The book is divided into three sections: Part One which explains social anxiety, the role of this fear, its origins and what actually happens when social anxiety strikes; Part Two gives a complete practical guide to overcoming these feelings, changing thinking patterns, reducing self- consciousness and building confidence; Part Three gives some "optional extras" such as explaining the legacy of being bullied and about how to learn to relax.

This book is engrossing and intriguing and a very worthy addition to the bookshelf of those with an interest in human behaviour and social interaction. It will help to treat and defeat very crippling, entrenched problems right through to the usual, mild feelings of discomfort and social shyness experienced by everyone at some time--this book can be recommended for people who want to improve their networking and business interaction skills also. --Alison Jardine

About the Author
Gillian Butler is a consultant clinical psychologist and Fellow of the British Psychological Society. She teaches at the Oxford Cognitive Therapy Centre and runs training workshops for mental health practitioners both in the United Kingdom and abroad.

Customer Reviews

Perhaps I'm not weird after all!!!
I found this book a really helpful read after many years,from being five years old, feeling like a bit of an outcast in certain situations, and analysing every conversation and meeting for my own blunders. It's an easy book to skim through picking up interesting and reassuring chapters, and makes you realise how common it is to feel uneasy, weird and full of self doubt, and that really even people who appear confident may be going through the same traumas.
The book is helping me to reassure myself in "trying" situations and as my teenage son seems to have inherited some of my self doubt, despite being popular, it's giving me useful advice to give him when he needs it.
The book covers many aspects of shyness/lack of self esteem and would be helpful to any degree of self doubt. I'm really glad I bought it!

Great place to start learning about SA
I've seen this book mentioned many times as a good self-help guide on two online SA communities (www.social-anxiety.org.uk and www.sascotland.co.uk) and on reading it I would recommend it to any SA sufferer. In particular, I think it would be really helpful for someone new to the topic of Social Anxiety, perhaps not sure whether or not they have it, and unclear about how they could use techniques from self-help CBT. There's lots of information here I am familiar with through learning from several web sites, but this book is a real timesaver - it might not have all you need to know about SA, but more than enough to understand your problem and begin to think of possible solutions. The book makes liberal use of lists of key points in bullet-point format, and has many boxes with examples of the terms being discussed, so it's quite understandable too. Rather than just use a jargon term such as "avoidance behaviour" it gives practical examples which you can then see if they apply to you.
For someone new to the subject just being able to recognise "Yes, that's what I've got" can be really helpful. Getting out of denial is the first step to tackling a problem you might have allowed to grow unchecked for years. SA has many signs and symptoms, affecting multiple areas - how you think, how you behave, on your body and emotions. This book helps you understand how these areas are interrelated, how they affect each other, and hence the things that need to be done to tackle the problem. It shows how many "vicious circles" are maintained - an example of a cycle would be

Avoid conversations with people -> Dread conversations -> Tend to blush when they happen -> Avoid the next conversation

Breaking out of these cycles of thinking/ feeling/ acting forms a major part of the book, which is divided into:-
• Changing thinking patterns
• Doing things differently
• Reducing self-consciousness
• Building up confidence (this can also occur through non-social activities)
These four sets of activities all complement each other, and can create a "virtuous circle" where even a small amount of time regularly spent can produce dramatic improvement. Examples are given of CBT-type exercises you can complete (I'd recommend buying a workbook or jotter to complete these in one place, rather than using scrap paper) such as a Thought Record, simply a table where you fill out each of the following categories:-
• Specific situation (think of a situation in which you use a safety behaviour)
• Prediction (what will happen if you do not keep yourself safe? How will you know if it happens?)
• Experiment (How will you find out? What will you do differently?)
• What actually happened? (What did you observe? Stick to the facts.)
• Conclusions (What does this mean?)
After the event you can then re-think your original belief - e.g. asking yourself how much you believe it now (from 0-100 per cent).

The book gives many examples of how our thinking can be faulty (all or nothing thinking, assuming the worst etc) and also how we can substitute better thoughts for the faulty ones (e.g. by thinking what a helpful friend or parent would say to you, or what you would say to a friend who had the same problem). Changing our perspective in this way can be really helpful, and I think it's similar to the idea of "self-parenting" where we come up with our own solutions and more positive ways of thinking about something.

A good idea the book gives is to create "flashcards" with a belief, assumption or negative thought on one side of the small card and a more healthy perspective in response on the other side. I think this would be really helpful for someone wanting to do something they found anxiety provoking (going to a family occasion, meeting someone of the opposite sex). As we all know, in the middle of a stressful situation the negative thoughts and feelings flow easily and thinking up a positive replacement can be much more difficult - having some "Blue Peter" examples which you prepared earlier could be really helpful.

The book is thoroughly grounded in good research and filled with practical advice - there wasn't anything I read that jarred with me or I viewed as author bias. At the same time the book was a little dry to read, not especially motivational for me, and I had the same feeling about completing the CBT exercise as I would about regularly eating oat bran - no doubt good for me but not especially fun. However the more I got into the book the more the tasks required seemed manageable, and believable, and I can see myself applying them in the coming months. If I spent even 30 minutes a day, five times a week, for two months I'm convinced I would progress a lot, so I'm "sold" on the concept of CBT in that sense.

I would say if someone was feeling very depressed they would probably be better off getting treatment for the depression before tackling CBT, and equally if someone felt able to do positive things (such as attending an SA meet or going out and doing something with friends) they'd be better off doing that than staying at home completing CBT exercises. For people in between, however, I think the exercises would be tremendously helpful. If you're not in a position to do anything social at the moment this book is excellent preparation for taking those first steps. If you are feeling a little better, are getting out a bit more, and feeling a bit brighter in general, I think this book will really complement and reinforce what you are doing. No hesitation in recommending this book for anyone with SA, or for anyone wanting to understand and help an SA friend or relative.

Everyone should have this book
If you have any doubts about yourself at all or any of the symptons described on http://www.socialphobia.org/ then you should definitely buy this book.
Through a series of events in my life I began to shut myself of from the world without realising it and everytime I'd get asked to go to a social gathering of any kind I'd be struck by fear and anxiety. I'm not even the whole way through the book yet but already it has been a massive help, confirming and helping realise what my behaving is doing and showing me how to fix myself.