Product Description

Although having Asperger Syndrome (AS) can make romantic relations difficult, having a fulfilling relationship with an Asperger man is certainly not impossible. A woman in love with a man with AS may interpret his difficulties with communication and socialization as a lack of interest in the relationship. He may vacillate between being gentle and caring to seeming cold and distant. She may find his behaviour hard to understand, resulting in feelings of loneliness, isolation, and confusion. This book shows how to overcome these difficulties and maintain a loving relationship with an AS partner. From an unwillingness to show affection in public or even sleep in the same bed to problems holding down a job, this book looks at 22 common traits that women may discover when they are dating, living with or married to a man with Asperger's Syndrome. Rudy Simone explores the complications of Asperger's relationships with honesty and understanding, drawing on research and personal experience to inform and advise women with AS partners. She offers helpful tips for improving the relationship and finding fulfilment both individually and as a couple. This book will help women to understand the male Asperger's mind and, equally, it can help men with AS to see things from their partner's perspective. It will also be of interest to counsellors working with couples where one partner has Asperger's Syndrome.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #105848 in Books
• Published on: 2009-05-15
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 112 pages

Review
"There are many books that have been written about being in a relationship with a man with AS, but I have found none to be as insightful, accurate and understanding of both perspectives as this book by Rudy Simone. Each section of the book says it just the way it is; it is realistic, positive and unbiased." --From the Foreword by Maxine Aston, author of The Other Half of Asperger Syndrome, Aspergers in Love and The Asperger Couples Workbook.

About the Author
Rudy Simone is a writer and Asperger's Syndrome educator who lives in New York.

Customer Reviews

Author shows lack of understanding and Sympathy towards Asperger's and a long term relationship with a NT partner
I have Asperger's Syndrome, am married with a young son.

I am highly disappointed with this book published only this month and think it is one of the worst so called factual books on helping those in a long term NT/AS relationship. Looking at the many previews that give the titles of each chapter I thought this was going to be a extremely good and worthwhile book on an Asperger/NT relationship. I thought that Rudy Simone showed little understanding and was rather negative about a husband with Asperger's Syndrome with some of the information given I would go as far as to say is inaccurate.

I got a strong indication from the book and was absolutely disgusted that the author would like those with Asperger's Syndrome to be assimilated into Neurotypical society, for many of our Asperger traits that affect us in relating to the Neurotypical world should be trained out of us. I also felt that the author like many in society are intolerant towards those who are neurologically different to vast majority of society in general.

"This book is directed mainly toward female partners of men with AS; to discuss what problems they are likely to encounter, and why. It will provide some insight into his thoughts on those issues - If you're an AS male this book can assist you in understanding your female partner; to see your behaviour from her point of view."

I am not really able to make a comment on whether this book is going to be useful for female partners of men with AS, however in my opinion a very much don't it will be useful. Definitely in my opinion this book will not assist AS males in understanding their female partner.

Unlike many new books on Asperger's Syndrome there was no actual new factual information given and personally I learnt nothing that I already didn't know.

The author continually kept harping on about the wife suffering from CAD-Cassandra Affective Deprivation Disorder, literally page after page CAD was brought up. Fine a couple of times is alright, the number of times Rudy Simone mentions CAD, by the time a wife has finished reading the book she will think that she must have CAD or otherwise something is wrong.

"indication that there was something "abnormal" going on inside him." This statement really upset me and showed a complete and lack of understanding and sympathy towards us Asperger's. We are not "abnormal" we are only "different".

Chapter 17 - "it's not unusual for a person with AS to say "I'll be right over," and then not arrive for many hours. They can get caught up in things along the way. Don't be offended. Just try to explain that your time is valuable to you and you don't like to left hanging: that if he is going to be late he should call." This chapter is trying to suggest that Asperger's have great difficulty when it comes to keeping a social appointment when in Fact 2 out of 5 Asperger's run their life by the clock and 20.00 means exactly that, not 19.59 or 20.01.

At the end of the book under Glossary of Terms under diagnostic (DSM-IV) it suggests that one looks this up under (Wikipedia 2008) which I think is an extremely unprofessional place to go and again shows the authors whole approach to Asperger's Syndrome.

One other small point, as an Asperger I didn't like the fact that this book is written in American English, with all the usual British English spelling mistakes.

Overall I think this book puts us Asperger's in a bad light and is an extremely poor book on the subject of a long-term relationship with an Asperger partner. Therefore I am unable and will not recomment this book.

The books that I do thoroughly recommend are Autism and Asperger's Syndrome - the facts by Simon Baron-Cohen, The Asperger's Couple's Workbook by Maxine Aston & Asperger Syndrome and Long Term Relationships by Ashley Stanford

Oh my goodness!
My son's words on reading the contents page were 'Oh my god - it's dad'!
Someone hinted to my partner that he may have Asperger Syndrome, a few years ago. Neither he nor I looked into this syndrome until the relationship ended, when, on needing some clarification of both our behaviours during a long, difficult relationship I did some research. Books which are informative for the lay person are very rare. I am a medical professional and I found it difficult! The focus is on children. I purchased numerous books including the Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome (Tony Attwood) - not worth the money, looked up websites, visited my library, etc etc. The Asperger Couple's Workbook (Maxine Aston) mentioned previously, actually was the book which really confirmed that I was on the right track. Oh my goodness! The loneliness and isolation - it's real!!!

And then I was given this book!

Whatever people may think, this book actually looks at things in an easily digestable way. I don't care about the book's American-English, or the contrasting simplistic nature. It is not unforgiving on the person with Asperger's. Cassandra? ME, PTS, PMT are all woolly areas in professional-land! Professional snobbery won't help an individual who cannot understand why the man she loves doesn't show any love towards her. It has made me understand so many things and instead of feeling guilt, confusion and a hundred other emotions I can really work through things now. No one book is ever going to be perfect. 'You can't please everyone all of the time'! This is not an academic book, but it should be read by them.

This book is helping me assist my children in coping with a father who appears emotionally bereft, thus hopefully enabling a good relationship for them all in the future.
Like all information books, this book should not be read in isolation but it's an excellent one to start with.