Product Description

Four years ago, Chris Slater-Walker was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. For him this was an explanation of why he has always regarded himself as "socially handicapped", but for his wife Gisela it meant coming to terms with a marriage in which there would never be any intuitive understanding, despite Chris's good intentions. This is an account of a long and still unfinished process of learning to live with a disability that some regard as incompatible with marriage. Charting Chris's background, the history of Gisela and Chris's relationship and the subsequentimpact of the diagnosis on their relationship, the first half of the book thoughtfully juxtaposes the two authors' stories and their reactions to Chris's condition. The remainder covers developments within their relationship, and the understanding that has grown between the couple; however, the authors never shirk from describing the difficulties that have arisen.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #98043 in Books
• Published on: 2002-01-17
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 160 pages

About the Author
Gisela and Chris Slater-Walker have been partners for eleven years. Both gained BA (Hons) in Russian Studies from Manchester University. Gisela is an English teacher at Aylesbury High School.

Customer Reviews

Learning how to give and take
Life in any relationship can be hard but how much harder it is when one partner has a disability only lately diagnosed. Life and learning how to cope with such disability is described here in a heartfelt way by the co-authors. The two voices in this book are distinct and separate, yet theirs is a united story of learning to manage and give and take.
A warm book which brings helpful, practical strategies and most of all, hope for others in similar relationships - read it - you won't be disappointed.

An amazing insight
I have recently discovered that I have Aspergers Syndrome and have been trying to read as much as possible about it. This book is the best one that I have read as in many ways it was like reading a description of how I feel about certain aspects in my life. I found the book easy to read and in places very moving. In particular the desicription of how the use of email and instant messenger makes it easier for the person with Aspergers Syndrome to communicate made me feel better about using this method of communication myself (my husband and I met this way 12 years ago!) and takes away some of the guilt I feel about prefering this to the phone or face to face. Another section of the book that describes the difficultly with being able to hear what people say in noisy environments was also very moving for me as I did not realise this was even an aspect of Aspergers. I have always had very sensitive hearing and a friend recently described me as having the hearing of a dog, yet in noisy places I don't bother to try to follow a conversation as I just cannot hear what the other person is saying.

It is such a relief to finally know that I (and anyone else with AS) have a reason for the way I act and react and I am not deliberately a rude, unfriendly, awkward and pedantic person. My husband is now reading the book and I sincerely hope that it will also help him to understand me better and help him to cope with the hurt that I unintentionally cause him.

I would recommend this book to any adult who is close to another adult who has or may have AS, or anyone who has AS themselves. I think it would be a helpful book to anyone in this situation, not just for couples where one or both has AS. Once I have formal diagnosis I am considering passing the book to my parents as I feel it would be helpful for them to understand about AS and how I am affected. Therefore if you are the parent or even adult child of someone diagnosed with AS I would recommend this book to you too.

Practical, real-life experiences
If you're in an Asperger relationship, whether it be a new relationship or a long-standing one, then this book can be of use to you.

As 2 separate but interwoven tales, the authors take you through the all-too-familiar issues of communication, body-language etc. But they also dwell on how they've learned to cope with socialising as a couple, perceived 'rudeness' when ignoring people, and also how to deal with family life, housework, children, etc. Chris comes over as not that 'high-functioning', when they tell of his trials & tribulations at work, so this is not a rose-tinted story of a 'perfect' couple.