Product Description

Asperger syndrome (AS) has often been considered to be incompatible with love and relationships, but as the number of people who are diagnosed with the disorder increases, it is becoming apparent that people with AS can and do have full and intimate relationships. Comparing and contrasting both AS and non-AS partners' viewpoints, this book frankly examines the fundamental aspects of relationships that are often complicated by the disorder. With all findings illustrated with case examples taken from interviews conducted with couples, the author tackles issues such as attraction, trust, communication, sex and intimacy, and parenting. Drawing on her extensive research and established career as a Relate counsellor, Maxine Aston has produced a much-needed analysis of intimate relationships where one adult has AS and this book is a must for all those with AS and their partners, as well as for friends, family and counsellors.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #30141 in Books
• Published on: 2003-03-17
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 224 pages

Review
'This challenging and fascinating reader dispels myths and assumptions about the ability of people with Asperger to form and maintain loving relationships...Numerous relationship issues examined by Aston and those who were interviewed, including the many difficulties which both partners may face. At the same time there is a wealth of practical information about how couples can address and overcome problems. As there is an increasing number of people with Asperger, and as more and more reach adulthood and seek relationships and have children, this is becoming an important topic.' -Care & Health Magazine 'Maxine Aston is the only professional currently working as counsellor and researcher in the field of relationships in which one partner has Asperger syndrome, and so she is uniquely placed to write this book...not only does she make clear the difficulties that both partners in such a relationship experience, she also suggests strategies for dealing with them...read this book and breathe a sigh of relief that there really is someone who does understand the impact of Asperger syndrome on both partners in a "mixed marriage". - from the Foreword by Gisela and Chris Slater-Walker

About the Author
Maxine Aston is a Relate trainer and couple counsellor specializing in relationships affected by AS. She has a degree in psychology, is the author of The Other Half of Asperger Syndrome (NAS) and is a frequent speaker at Autism Spectrum Disorder conferences.

Customer Reviews

Aspergers Syndrome within relationships
As this book points out early on, Aspergers Syndrome (AS) is a developmental disorder related to autism, and affects social interaction, communication and imagination. Most people who are even aware that AS exists probably assume that Aspergers sufferers (and we do suffer, believe me) simply "don't do relationships". Clearly this isn't the case, but the message of this book might seem to be that they probably shouldn't, given the major problems that the syndrome causes to both partners in the relationship.

It is worth pointing out that this is not a manual designed to help folk with AS to pick their way through the minefield of dating. Rather, it is primarily aimed at married couples where one partner has AS, usually not diagnosed until after the couple have married.

Ms. Aston's account is authoritative and concise, easy to read and well laid out, with no confusing psychological jargon. No areas of the subject are taboo. Emotional and sexual matters and child rearing are all discussed. There are even references to the comparatively unusual cases where the AS sufferer is female.

Ms. Aston never sugar-coats the pill, and frequently the message is that although problems can be understood and addressed, many can never be fully eliminated. Recognition of, and acceptance of the condition by both partners is stressed as being the key to a successful relationship.

Although clearly aimed at couples, there are unique insights here for anyone interested in Aspergers Syndrome.

The Lowdown on Asperger Relationships
Asperger’s in Love, Couple Relationships and Family Affairs, draws on questionnaires, interviews and counselling with around 35 couples. The material is not so much organised as themed into 20 odd chapters with titles like Trust, Awareness, The Sexual Side of Asperger Syndrome, Routines, Rules and Boundaries, Understanding. There’s an FAQs section – questions asked during counselling - and her long, common sense, detailed and direct responses. The book is filled with Awareness (one of her chapter headings) of AS and how it affects couple and family relationships, and illustrated with numerous anecdotes, some so familiar and true I laughed till I cried.
I don’t think people who don’t have a close relationship with someone with AS will want to read this book, but for the rest of us there’s revelation and validation on every page. And for professionals and academics working in the field of Asperger’s Syndrome there is a goldmine of observation and wisdom.
The book is more of a meditation than a list of prescriptives. She does however conclude that relationships involving people with AS stand a better chance if everyone involved accepts and understands the condition and works with it.

Very, very disappointing
I'm a NT woman looking for help because I have an AS partner, so I ordered plenty of books about the subject. Maxine Aston is said to be an expert and one of the only professionals who do Asperger's counselling. I got two of her books, Aspergers in Love as well as The Other Half of AS. Both very disappointing.
Her books are written in a cold way, like a scientist describing symptoms in a very matter-of-fact manner. They are not a reflection on the subject of AS, merely observations from the ten or so people she's observed in her office! It goes along the lines of "three AS men out of ten had this symptom, seven did not." What is the reader supposed to draw for a conclusion? This book does NOT offer any help at all. Quite the opposite in fact, it's very negative and does not hint there's any light at the end of the tunnel. It's made me cry several times as it just brings more hopelessness. The author expects all couples who want their relationship to improve to go to counselling (and too bad if your AS partner won't go).
This book lacks empathy and takes the matter way too lightly in my opinion. In fairness, the facts are there if you're interested in trivia about AS, facts and figures etc. If you're just looking for info and are not living with or close to anyone with AS, then give it a go. If you are a doctor who wants to get familiar with the syndrome, give it a go.
In any other case, save yourelf some money and some heartache. Personally I recommend books written by AS-NT couples, such as AS A Love Story by Hendrickx and Newton or Alone Together by Bentley. These are true testimonies from people who are actually going through what they are writing about.