Product Description

The story of a woman who, after years of self-doubt, learned to embrace her Asperger's syndrome traits. Liane Holliday Willey shares the daily struggles and challenges that face those who have Asperger's syndrome. It includes coping strategies and guidance for a range of situations.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #120862 in Books
• Published on: 1999-05-01
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 173 pages

Customer Reviews

Do you understand?
I am diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome and compared to Liane I have been a lot less successful at having a more mainstream life. If I don’t tell people I have Asperger syndrome they think I am strange, stupid, and unpleasant. If I do tell people I have Asperger syndrome the first thing they always say is how ‘normal’ I seem despite it. I guess telling people you have AS lowers their expectations of you and the standards they judge you by, totally altering their perception of what you are like.

There is no question that Liane has been more successful at living a normal life than the majority of people on the autistic spectrum manage, which is no doubt why she chose the title ‘Pretending to be Normal’. There are many thousands of people like her who have always been different but who have found ways to fit in, deep down though they perhaps feel they are not being as true to themselves as they could be… they might feel ashamed of the secret difficulties they are so good at hiding and overcoming, or they may resent other people not being aware of the effort they are putting in all the time to keep up appearances.

It’s easy for neurotypical readers to complain that she was not as severely afflicted as they were hoping, or that she doesn’t fit the rain man stereotype of autism they like to cling to, but that is totally missing the point… if this book has one message it is that amongst the wide diversity of the autistic spectrum there are at one extreme people like Liane, and because the problems they experience are hidden they are in many ways more alone and isolated than those for whom they are more obvious. Why shouldn’t she tell her story? It is as valid as anybody else’s.

This was the first book written by someone else with Asperger syndrome that I ever read and I thoroughly enjoyed it, though as I caution all the time, if you were only going to read one book and this one was it, it would not give you the complete picture.

It has several very practical and useful appendices covering subjects like disclosure, coping strategies, and organisation. Ultimately I think this book is most suitable for those who suspect themselves AS after the diagnosis of a child like the author, but it would be an interesting read for anybody.

How to do your best
I chanced on this book in 1999 and I keep coming back to it. Liane Holliday Willey is a heroine to me. Her title "Pretending to be normal" is ironic - on page 89 she says "I had finally reached the end of my race to be normal", i.e. realised that she can be herself, as well as learning how to get on with other people. I am very encouraged by her tale of "how much I have changed, how much I have progressed" and her conviction that "my AS traits never had a chance to take over my bid for a more mainstreamed life". My copy is now well-thumbed, with plenty of highlighting in the margins. Phrases from this book have become like proverbs for me: her realisation that she was "too close to lonely"; her husband's affectionate "you're so weird"; her injunction to herself and to us to always "do your best", and "make time for fun, no matter how you define it". Other people might have said similar things but for me to accept it, I needed to hear it from one of us. I also saw what another reviewer said about her emphasis on sensory stuff - yes, I thought that was weird too - but then I thought, isn't that what this is all about? We're not all going to be weird in the same way!

An excellent read, informative and entertaining.
This is a wonderfully absorbing account of the life of someone with Asperger's Syndrome. I read this book cover to cover in one sitting. Liane Willey's style is very good, and the book gives a real insight into what it is like to see the world differently. The author is extremely positive about her experiences, and I'm sure will provide a lot of hope and encouragement to others with AS. Although some of her experiences were clearly distressing, there is also a great deal of humour here. The two-headed baby episode had me laughing out loud ! In addition to the personal account of the author's life, there is also a section providing practical advice on coping with Asperger's Syndrome and explaining it to others which is extremely useful. I cannot recommend this book highly enough to anyone who has AS or knows someone who does.