Product Description

This guide reveals how the logical thinking part of us, the adult, often becomes estranged from the the instinctual part that gives rise to intensity and emotions, the child. The authors explain how this fragmentation creates inner tensions that both undercut a person's ability to gain happiness and lead to loneliness and emptiness, addiction and co-dependency. It outlines a self-healing process that can be used everyday to restore a balance between the "adult and child".

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #116445 in Books
• Published on: 1990-11-22
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 208 pages

Customer Reviews

why is this book no bestseller?
I agree with the previous reviewer: I wander why this book is no bestseller. I own the German translation and gave a copy to a friend in Austria which started a chain reaction, 2 weeks later 10 friends were reading the book, and everyone was enthusiastic about it.

Basically the book is about how to find a healthy balance between your emotional/unconscious/spontaneous side and your rational/conscious/responsible side. You imagine your rational side as the inner adult, your emotional side (unconscious, body, emotions, wishes, intuition, creativity) as the inner child. The adult has to learn to listen to the child instead of shouting it down. But the rule is not left to the child, it is the adult who makes the decisions. Once a good relation between adult and child has been established, the specific qualities of the inner child are not experienced as unwanted interference anymore, but they can become an abundant source of inspiration and happiness.

The symbolic inner adult-child relation is strongly shaped by the real adult-child relation we have experienced in our childhood. So the authors analyse common patterns of non-loving adult-child relations and outline what a loving adult-child relation would be like. This helps you to understand where your rationality and emotions work against each other instead of together, and how you can correct that.

This approach makes common sense, and it is presented in a very clear and down to earth way, you can really work with this concept.

(This review refers to the German translation)

Exceptionally good
One of my favourite books in the self help arena. This is a very clear and wonderfully helpful book. Im surprised this isnt a bestseller!

It's not a bestseller cos it's crap!
That may sound harsh and I'm usually more constructive in my reviews but I've bought a couple of self-help books lately and neither have lived-up to to their titles (or customer reviews for the most part). I don't usually buy self-helf books (I'm quite a lazy reader) but I needed something and after years upon years of exhausting many theraputic routes(orthodox,complementary AND mumbo-jumbo), I thought I'd try searching on my beloved Amazon using specific keywords, and take advantage of their vast catalogue, thinking I'd learn something new about how to help myself and feeling hopeful as I'd get as close to tailor-made help as I could. This has definately NOT been the case so far and I'm particularly annoyed about what I've read in this book as it as I never expected that it would be most-suited to the mumbo-jumbo category. Saying that, obviously it's good if it has helped others and maybe it's because I'm someone who's always been very in touch with her feelings that these books aren't very helpful to me. I feel this may not be a very helpful review and I should explain my views more but I can't be bothered really; I'm very depressed at the moment - sorry folks :o( I must confess, I haven't read the whole book but I did skip forwards to see if it might get more useful and in my opinion it didn't. Maybe it was the style it was written in that was off-putting (your "responsible adult talking to your abandoned child" etc.) but I think I would've been able to stand that if it was constructive. Basically, I don't see how the authors divvying-me-up into multiple personalities is going to help me feel less lonely - it has the total opposite effect. But if you don't mind discovering what it might be like to develop schizophrenia whilst trying to healing your aloneness then give the book a go, by all means. I'm going to try to re-coup the money I've lost on Amazon's Marketplace now - bye.