Product Description

The international bestselling dating guide by the writer of Sex and the City, now adapted into a hotly anticipated movie starring Jennifer Aniston and Ben Affleck. This hilarious, playful, but honest explanation of male behaviour from a writer and a consultant of Sex and the City, is designed to stop women wasting their time chasing after men who aren't into them, and help them to move on and find men who really are. The line, 'He's just not that into you', was developed out of a conversation between Greg Behrendt and his fellow female SATC writers when they asked his advice one day. It became an episode which struck a powerful chord with viewers. Now a hotly anticipated movie with an all star cast that includes Jenifer Aniston, Ben Affleck and Scarlett Johansson and produced by Drew Barrymore.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #8968 in Books
• Published on: 2009-01-05
• Original language: English
• Binding: Paperback
• 256 pages

Review
Ruthless romance advice --US Weekly

Review
smart, funny and surprisingly upbeat

Review
Evil Genius

Customer Reviews

And who cares if he isn't???
Essentially, this is what this book is about--getting over jerks who could really care less about you and aren't afraid to show it. I thought the book had loads of good self help jargon which could help even the most clumsy of daters, such as myself. No more desperate phone calls!!! I am done with that for good, thanks, in part, to this book. Another good one-- Sexy and Confident: How To Be The Dreamgirl Men Want, Have a Better Life and Improve Your Self-Esteem.

The black and white guide to dating
And that is not meant in a positive way..! This book very much stays on the surface of relationships. It generalises that all men treat women badly until they find 'the one'. I for one value decency and wouldn't want to be with someone who I knew treated people badly. So he cheated on every other girlfriend but it's ok because I'm the one...I don't think so!

If you are not happy with any aspect of your boyfriends behaviour, then the answer is that he is simply 'not that into you'. This goes for everything and no matter at what stage you are into the relationship. Whether he cheats or simply forgets to call you, all is defined as equally bad behaviour, showing that he is 'not that into you' and the books solution is to dump him and find someone who shows you on a daily basis how much he loves you. Greg's definition of this is that he should be showering you with gifts and writing poetry and generally be perfect in every way.

Yes, it might be pretty obvious that he is not that keen if you had just started dating someone who wasn't calling or making much effort. But if you are already in a serious realtionship and it happens, there could be a whole number of reasons and the sensible thing would be to talk to him about it!

Neither women nor men are so perfect and this book scarcely touches on fundamental factors that make relationships work such as communication, the ability to compromose, compatibility, commitment etc. This book implies that it is up to him to put in all the effort. All the female seems to be required to do is to lavish the attention and read his signals to decide whether or not he is 'into you' and therefore whether you should continue with him or not.

Relationships take work from both sides. How our partner treats us and behaves in the relationship is significant and it is important that we are aware of this and don't make compromises on what is truly unacceptable to us but it is really unrealistic, as this book suggests, to expect our partner to behave perfectly all the time.

What is of value here, apart from the humour, is that we should set standards for ourselves and be aware of what is important to us and what we are willing to compromise on and not.

However, there are far more useful books written by relationship experts who know what they are talking about.

He's Just Not Into You If He's Not Perfect....
I revisited this book having read the original edition in 2005 and while it struck a cord with me back then, now that I'm slightly older and wiser it no longer has the same appeal.

The idea behind the book is a good one and to an extent it acts as a wake up call to anyone who may be living in denial, however I object to the patronising tone of the authors in most of it - they seem to believe that all the readers of the book are neurotic and unstable women with low IQs. I also think that the whole "He's Just Not That Into You" concept is taken a step too far and that some people may finish the book slightly disheartened, very cynical and wondering if anyone is actually that into them!

Because yes, maybe in a perfect world a man would see you, chase you across the road to pester you for your phone number and if you refuse (as apparently a lady called Lindsey Adams did to Greg) the man would try to find your number (of course, Greg, I believe that you went through all the Lindsey Adams in the telephone directory in order to find this barmaid! Instead of perhaps, say, just going into the same bar again?!). They would then call you constantly because they love the sound of your voice, ask you out instantly, and you will live happily ever after, sail off into the sunset yadda yadda. Reality check: real life isn't like that. Men are not perfect, far from it. They don't take hints, they may not realise you like them, they may be shy and they may be busy. By all means you should never go out with a guy who mistreats you or constantly does things to indicate he doesn't care about you as much as he should - but by dismissing someone because he doesn't fit into the perfect man stereotype Greg and Liz believe in, you may just be setting yourself up for a lifetime of loneliness. The co-author of this book, Liz, is (funnily enough) still single.

I note with interest that the reviews to the original edition of this book (before it was republished with a couple of hastily added chapters to co-inside with the film launch and thus maximise revenue) were not as positive. Possibly because the film is quite amusing and acknowledges that there are exceptions to all these rules that Greg and Liz have created. Because if this was not the case, and the film followed the book a bit more closely, it would have actually been pretty depressing.

Watch the film, it's good; read the book if you must but take the advice with a pinch of salt and remember: the course of true love never did run smooth!