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Swords, sandals and the Good Book: Great, Bad & Truly Awful
Spartacus [1960]Spartacus [1960]
Buy used from: £1.75
Great director, great actors, great script (shame about the intrusive music): 'Spartacus...leader of men'
Solomon And Sheba [1959]Solomon And Sheba [1959]
Buy new: £4.98
Really quite bad. The reason? They didn't stick to the text. Not even Yul Brenner could save this mess. Compare:
The Ten Commandments [1956]The Ten Commandments [1956]
Buy new: £3.10 / Used from: £3.30
The invented bits in this are hilarious but mostly it sticks to the original and it shows in the great result. 'So let it be written. So let it be done'
Ben-Hur [1959]Ben-Hur [1959]
Buy new: £4.98 / Used from: £3.25
Patchy. The religious bits (soaring choirs on the first Easter sunday etc.) are tedious but the classical bits bring it up to the mark. That sea battle. THAT chariot race.
Barabbas [1962]Barabbas [1962]
Buy new: £5.97 / Used from: £4.40
Not a cheap religious epic but a moving account of one man's fight with God.
Alexander The Great [1955]Alexander The Great [1955]
Buy new: £3.89 / Used from: £1.00
Years ago the unions had rules that you couldn't make swords and sandals epics without Richard Burton. This is one of them. It's alright but not as good as:
Cleopatra (3 Disc Special Edition) [1963]Cleopatra (3 Disc Special Edition) [1963]
Buy new: £4.98 / Used from: £12.99
Those fools at Fox pulled the plug too early, but what a film: 'You ask me the Proconsul of Rome to kneel before you?' 'I asked it of Caesar. I DEMAND it of you. You will kneel!'
The Robe [1953]The Robe [1953]
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Another film about someone at the Crucifixion. Not as good as Barabbas. Not as bad as...
Demetrius And The Gladiators [1954]Demetrius And The Gladiators [1954]
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A tedious sequel. Not to be confused with...
Gladiator (2000) - Two Disc SetGladiator (2000) - Two Disc Set
Buy new: £22.49 / Used from: £1.40
Revived the genre for which much thanks. Not a bad film if you ignore the cod Shakespeare ending (Cleopatra did it better). 'Fratres! What we do in life echoes in eternity!'
Helen Of Troy [1955]Helen Of Troy [1955]
Buy new: £3.98 / Used from: £3.18
Certainly not the face that launched a thousand ships but it's still quite a spectacle (the first use of Cinemascope) if you suppress memories of Peter Jackson's LOTR. Too bland to be truly Homeric.
Troy (2-Disc Edition) [2004]Troy (2-Disc Edition) [2004]
Buy new: £2.93 / Used from: £1.05
Aaarrgh! Spare us from such rubbish! Soft and not so soft pornography. No understanding of the terror the Greeks felt at the divine. Might as well be set in the present day. Avoid.
The Fall Of The Roman Empire [1964]The Fall Of The Roman Empire [1964]
Buy used from: £12.99
Covering much the same ground as Gladiator but with a more coherent script and better actors. Avoid this version and get the French one (with an English soundtrack) instead.
Attila The Hun [2001]Attila The Hun [2001]
Think Gladiator done on the cheap but why did they have to leave out Attila's meeting with St Leo the Great?
Jesus Of Nazareth [1977]Jesus Of Nazareth [1977]
Buy new: £14.98 / Used from: £8.75
Not as great as the Passion but great nonetheless. The Feeding of the 5,000 is very moving but why no holes in the hands of the Risen Jesus?
The Passion of the Christ [2004]The Passion of the Christ [2004]
Buy new: £3.39 / Used from: £1.24
A great work of religious art. Those who think it is meaningless violence completely miss the point. Christ's is the suffering that heals all pain. 'By his wounds we are healed.'