Product Description

On Sunday mornings Jim White has the following choice: visit the supermarket, buy trellising at B'n'Q, or stand on the sidelines of a muddy municipal football pitch, his trouser cuffs wetter than a weekend in Llandudno, shoulder-to-shoulder with a motley crew of mums, dads, step-parents and same-sex life partners all screaming at their beleaguered offspring. You'll find Jim in the same place every week, failing to organise a bunch of lads into something resembling a team while on the far side of the park his opposite number, a wannabe Mourinho in brashly monogrammed tracksuit, struts the sidelines, shouting - always shouting. This is the hilarious story of Jim White's time as manager of his son's football team: the highs, the lows, and the dog mess in the centre circle. At this level, winning spirit is not so much about passion, pride and belief as praying that your star centre forward has remembered his boots. Most importantly, it's about the enduring relationship between fathers, sons and football. This is the story no one who has ever watched his or her child play sport will want to miss.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #171360 in Books
• Published on: 2007-08-30
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Hardcover
• 288 pages

Review
'The Fever Pitch of the junior league' SUNDAY TIMES 'It's a fizzingly funny, sad, thoughtful book, and should win White a hatful of awards. He done well, the lad, as they say' SUNDAY TELEGRAPH 'Touching, involving and really quite enthralling... White proves that you can win everything with kids' DAILY TELEGRAPH 'White's loving book evokes all the obsessional doubts and hopes involved in running an Under -14 side... A pleasure to read' INDEPENDENT 'This is a must-read for anyone with their own clutch of would-be Beckhams, either as a parent or coach. It's at turns wry, touching and very funny but always utterly authentic' TIME OUT 'A tart mix of humour and sharp observation' THE FIRST POST 'Extremely entertaining ... has the whiff of bestseller about it' INDEPENDENT ON SUNDAY 'Endearing comedy and raw emotion' INDEPENDENT --Sunday Times

Independent
'Endearing comedy and raw emotion'

Sunday Times
'His account is by turns hilarious, pitiful and touching.'

Customer Reviews

You'll Win Nothing with Kids: Fathers, Sons and Football
A wonderful book. So funny you will laugh out loud, accurate to the point of seeing yourself in many of the pages, so moving in places that you will consider what you say next time your lad takes puts on his boots. Brilliant.

You may well recognise yourself here
I admit I've done it. I ,ve stood on a touchline and shouted as my progeny has run up and down a lumpy field . "Track back", "Concentrate" "Man On", "For gods sake stop calling the ref a W***er and let me do it". All the time I was doing this I was fully cognisant that I was being every bit as idiotic as the other parents screaming their sagacious advice though I don't think I ever descended to the level of the misanthropic sack of s**t who kept advising his lad to "nobble him son".
Jim White would undoubtedly think I was a fool and of course he would be right. This book is an account of a season spent in charge of Northmeadow Youth under 14,s .White has coached the team for six years and his son is in the team .This immediately puts him offside with me as my afore mentioned progeny fell foul of a manager who played his son ( A gangling clueless lad who clearly didn't want to be there)while better players , including my son languished on the touchline much of the time . It's quickly clear though that White , who is also a football reporter for the "Telegraph", is a far more self aware self decrepitating individual than the boss of that team .He calls himself "The part on the sidelines".
So while he obsesses over the performance of the team and their on-going battle against relegation he can still take time to spot the idiosyncrasies of others around him and the minutiae involved in playing football at this level while pertinently realising his own failings .This makes You'll Win Nothing With Kids( Taken from Alan Hansen's infamous remark about a youthful Manchester United side......they won the league that year) a very amusing book and at times an oddly touching one. There is plenty of conflict , especially when the club want to buy a new kettle, plenty of strife -dog turds on the pitch seem to be a constant bane of the low level football fraternity- yet the most salient edge to this book is the bond between father and son as they endeavour to improve the team.
Talking of improving the team White uses his connections within the game to raid the professional arena for advice , chatting to amongst others Brain McClair ,Jose Mourinho( Working with kids is "The purest kind of football work") ,Ron Atkinson, and Bobby Robson .Their advice is surprisingly helpful too as the team go on an extended cup run .He also questions the motives of anyone taking up a coaching role in kids football .Is it an ego thing or a genuine altruistic desire to improve the lives of others?
Anyone who has watched boys football or even more pertinently had their offspring play at that level will recognise the scenarios and characters that imbibe this book with so much colour . Hopefully it may also help one or two recognise how unacceptable and self defeating their touchline ranting is......but I wouldn't bet on it.

funny... with some important messages for over-bearing parents
Stuck in an airport I raced through this book - a good read. It's funny as the author describes many scenes i've seen at junior football and also quite moving. But more importantly there are sections of this book that should be required reading for all parents (especially the mouthy ones) of kids who play football, particularly for those who despair and rant at goalkeepers.

And I played football against Jim White. And I can confirm, as he admits in his book, he wasn't very good!