Product Description

"Engel doesn′t just describe–she shows us the way out."
–Susan Forward, author of Emotional Blackmail Praise for the emotionally abusive relationship

"In this book, Beverly Engel clearly and with caring offers step–by–step strategies to stop emotional abuse. . . helping both victims and abusers to identify the patterns of this painful and traumatic type of abuse. This book is a guide both for individuals and for couples stuck in the tragic patterns of emotional abuse."
–Marti Loring, Ph.D., author of Emotional Abuse
and coeditor of The Journal of Emotional Abuse

"This groundbreaking book succeeds in helping people stop emotional abuse by focusing on both the abuser and the abused and showing each party what emotional abuse is, how it affects the relationship, and how to stop it. Its unique focus on the dynamic relationship makes it more likely that each person will grasp the tools for change and really use them."
–Randi Kreger, author of The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook
and owner of BPDCentral.com

The number of people who become involved with partners who abuse them emotionally and/or who are emotionally abusive themselves is phenomenal, and yet emotional abuse is the least understood form of abuse. In this breakthrough book, Beverly Engel, one of the world′s leading experts on the subject, shows us what it is and what to do about it.

Whether you suspect you are being emotionally abused, fear that you might be emotionally abusing your partner, or think that both you and your partner are emotionally abusing each other, this book is for you. The Emotionally Abusive Relationship will tell you how to identify emotional abuse and how to find the roots of your behavior. Combining dramatic personal stories with action steps to heal, Engel provides prescriptive strategies that will allow you and your partner to work together to stop bringing out the worst in each other and stop the abuse.

By teaching those who are being emotionally abused how to help themselves and those who are being emotionally abusive how to stop abusing, The Emotionally Abusive Relationship offers the expert guidance and support you need.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #3705 in Books
• Published on: 2003-09-02
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 272 pages

From the Inside Flap
Emotional abuse is the least understood form of abuse. The number of people who are emotional abusers or who become involved with partners who abuse them emotionally is phenomenal. In this breakthrough book, Beverly Engel, one of the world’s leading experts on emotional abuse, shows us how to stop the cycle of abuse.

Engel’s work in the field has helped her gain a great deal of insight and empathy for both the victim and the abuser. The Emotionally Abusive Relationship shows emotionally abused people how to help themselves, as well as showing emotionally abusive people how to stop abusing. Engel covers all aspects of emotional abuse, including the patterns that begin in childhood, teaching us how to identify and understand emotional abuse. This prescriptive book combines dramatic personal stories with action steps to heal. Focusing on the dynamics of an emotionally abusive relationship, Engel provides strategies that will allow partners to work together to resolve their issues and stop the abuse. Her step–by–step program provides the skills needed to:

• Spot the warning signs that a partner is a potential abuser
• Establish firmer boundaries and develop a stronger sense of self
• Cope with the anger, stress, and insecurities that propel abuse
• Confront the abuser when he or she becomes abusive
• Stop blaming and start taking responsibility
• Determine whether or not the relationship is worth saving
• Prevent emotional abuse in the future

Engel also includes pertinent information on borderline personality disorder and its effects, as well as a section offering partners of individuals with BPD strategies for dealing with the types of emotional abuse they are likely to experience.

If you’re being abused, if you’re the abusive partner, or if you’re part of a couple who is abusing one another, this book can help you. The Emotionally Abusive Relationship offers the expert guidance and support you need to stop the abuse now–and start getting the help your relationship needs.

From the Back Cover
"Engel doesn’t just describe–she shows us the way out."
–Susan Forward, author of Emotional Blackmail Praise for the emotionally abusive relationship

"In this book, Beverly Engel clearly and with caring offers step–by–step strategies to stop emotional abuse. . . helping both victims and abusers to identify the patterns of this painful and traumatic type of abuse. This book is a guide both for individuals and for couples stuck in the tragic patterns of emotional abuse."
–Marti Loring, Ph.D., author of Emotional Abuse
and coeditor of The Journal of Emotional Abuse

"This groundbreaking book succeeds in helping people stop emotional abuse by focusing on both the abuser and the abused and showing each party what emotional abuse is, how it affects the relationship, and how to stop it. Its unique focus on the dynamic relationship makes it more likely that each person will grasp the tools for change and really use them."
–Randi Kreger, author of The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook
and owner of BPDCentral.com

The number of people who become involved with partners who abuse them emotionally and/or who are emotionally abusive themselves is phenomenal, and yet emotional abuse is the least understood form of abuse. In this breakthrough book, Beverly Engel, one of the world’s leading experts on the subject, shows us what it is and what to do about it.

Whether you suspect you are being emotionally abused, fear that you might be emotionally abusing your partner, or think that both you and your partner are emotionally abusing each other, this book is for you. The Emotionally Abusive Relationship will tell you how to identify emotional abuse and how to find the roots of your behavior. Combining dramatic personal stories with action steps to heal, Engel provides prescriptive strategies that will allow you and your partner to work together to stop bringing out the worst in each other and stop the abuse.

By teaching those who are being emotionally abused how to help themselves and those who are being emotionally abusive how to stop abusing, The Emotionally Abusive Relationship offers the expert guidance and support you need.

About the Author
BEVERLY ENGEL is an internationally recognized therapist with an expertise in abuse, women’s issues, relationships, and sexuality. She is the author of several nonfiction books, including Loving Him without Losing You, Honor Your Anger, The Power of Apology, and The Emotionally Abused Woman. Engel has appeared on many national television shows, including Oprah, Donahue, Ricki Lake, Sally Jessy Raphael, and others.

Customer Reviews

Precious love-saving guide for partners and ex-partners
A lovely book. Engel comes from love and empathy for abusers and abusees alike and is wonderfully free of judgements. A moving, highly readable and deeply usable guide to how to recognise and then stop patterns of abuse when we are in the habit of giving or receiving it. An inspiring read, and manual, for counsellors and a potential lifesaver for human happiness for everyone from the multiply divorced to the person who's just shouted at their partner for the first time ever. But not for those who believe abusees are victims (poor me)and abusers are monsters: Engel holds that blame benefits no-one and everyone, if willing, can grow and learn new, loving, abuse-free habits that esteem both themself and their partner. Written in wonderfully plain jargon-free English (except that she refers to "borderline personality disorder").

Engel defines emotional abuse as "any non-physical behaviour designed to control, intimidate, subjugate, demean, punish or isolate another person" i.e. everything from blaming to sulking, demands to insults, domineering to overinquisitiveness. [So if you've lived with someone for more than a month and never ever given or received emotional abuse, click here for your halo:-)]

Beverly focuses on emotional abuse but but her techniques could be equally transformative for people who give or receive physical, sexual or verbal abuse. Similarly, the book is all about lifepartners but can be adapted to other close relationships e.g. parent/step-parent to adult child.

highly recommended; very clearly written
I can't recommend this enough. Packed with clearly presented information, easy to read, clear exercises, plus she herself was abusive and worked through it, so is completely speaking from a place of real informed balance and empathy.

Excellent!
This book gives great insight into what has been going on in your abusive relationship. It helps you acknowledge, understand and stop the abuse. Also pointing out that sometimes the only answer is to GET OUT!!!!!