Product Description

Chelsea Handler is a woman on a mission. She's smart, sassy and not afraid to speak her mind. From an early age Chelsea knew exactly what she wanted and even in the trickiest of situations, she's never one to pass up an opportunity. Like the time she convinced her third-grade class she was shooting movies with Goldie Hawn on location in the Galapagos just to get them to like her, or when she spent the night in a women's prison, contemplating an affair with the inmate who killed her own sister. Chelsea it seems, has done it all, and a whole lot more...Any mishaps along the way just spur Chelsea on further. Whether she is being dry-humped by a sumo masseur, dumped by her Big Red experiment or kicked out of a London restaurant with her pants down, Chelsea is always armed with an unshakable disregard for rules and is incapable of leading a quiet life. "Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea" is an entertaining memoir-in-stories that will have you rolling around with laughter.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #16887 in Books
• Published on: 2009-01-29
• Original language: English
• Binding: Paperback
• 272 pages

From the Back Cover
‘After sleeping around for the better part of my twenties, it somehow occurred to me that I wasn’t giving everyone a fair shot…I knew that if I ever had a chance at becoming a respectable ambassador for countries like Uganda, Khazikistan, or the Tropic of Cancer, I would really have to be more of an egalitarian. It was time for a redhead.’

Life isn’t easy for Chelsea – but then she doesn’t exactly make it easy. In Are you There Vodka, It’s Me Chelsea, she recalls her embarrassments, trials and tribulations with hilarious frankness. Like the time she told some girls at school that she was shooting movies with Goldie Hawn on location in the Galapagos, or when she decided to broaden her sexual horizons with ‘Big Red’, despite the fact that she was seeing a perfectly good dark-haired man at the time.

With tips on dining in pitch black restaurants, reservations about overly aggressive masseuses, and an (ex-) boyfriend who comes to help her dog sit two Peekapoos, but ends up getting along rather too well with ‘Daisy’ – Chelsea has done it all, including meeting a real mini-Chelsea. Written with biting wit, and a smart, sassy and anything-but-shy attitude, this memoir-in-stories will have you rolling around with laughter.

Praise for Chelsea Handler

'Where have I been all of Chelsea Handler's life? I had no idea how funny, how brilliant she is... she is too clever for words.' New York Post

'Will leave you doubled up in no time… By golly, do we love her tales!’ OK Magazine

'Chelsea Handler writes like Judy Blume, if Judy Blume were into vodka, Ecstasy, and sleeping with midgets and nineteen-year-olds.' Jennifer Weiner

About the Author
Chelsea Handler was born in Livingston, New Jersey, and has toured the US doing stand-up as one of the stars on Oxygen's Girls Behaving Badly, as well as appearing on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. She now presents her own show, Chelsea Lately, and is the author of My Horizontal Life. She lives in Los Angeles.

Customer Reviews

Absolutely hilarious
I had never heard of Chelsea Handler until a recent trip to the States found me awake at 11pm every night in motels across the country, sometimes with very little to do. I stumbled across her show on E! and laughed out loud a lot.
When I saw this book in Barnes and Noble I thought I'd give it a shot, not expecting too much.
Two days later I was on the last page after many tears had poured down my face. It takes much for a book to make me audibly laugh (cry- yes, laugh- not so much) and 'Are you There Vodka' certainly achieved that.
This is not high class literature and will achieve no nominations in recognised awards in the UK, but it is funny and witty and completely inappropriate at times (just like Handler herself).
It is now swiftly making the rounds through my girlfriends and the female members of my family and (so far) all have agreed with my sentiments. There are too many 'favourite moments' to mention- but one of the first gems is the story of her first DUI charge.
Enjoy!

Brilliant!!
Chelsea is amazing. So honest, funny and crude which is my ideal kind of humour!

A very funny and honest account of her life so far, you will read it in a weekend its so funny.

this book is not funny
Looking for a funny, light-hearted read? Well, don't buy this book. It's crude, boring, dull, devoid of anything resembling either intelligence or wit. In fact, it's offensively bad. I tried and failed to finish it and it ended up in the recycling bin- usually pass on books to friends but wouldn't inflict this on anyone else including the charity shop. I am amazed that a publisher paid money for this and sorry that I parted with my own hard earned cash to buy it. Usually dismissive of the 'dumbing down' doom mongers - but this is actually proof that it's happening. Ladies of the UK/world - resist.