Product Description

Fast approaching his fortieth birthday, Andrew is cornered at a family gathering by the nine-year-old son of his brother-in-law's sister. Having seen him as a talking head on TV, the boy asks, 'What are you?' It is a question so frank and simple that Andrew doesn't have an immediate answer to hand. So, with hilarious self-deprecation, he sets out to retrace how he got to where he is today. Seventeen precarious jobs in seventeen years: from trolley collector at Sainsbury's to high-flying film critic sipping cocktails with Will Smith and Jerry Bruckheimer on a yacht in Cannes.This is Andrew's tale of rubbing shoulders with the world's biggest stars: pissing off Christini Ricci, having his hairstyle mocked by Noel Gallagher, trying not to wake Clive James from his afternoon nap, having his apple pie eaten by Bob Geldof, and somehow stumbling into the next dream job. Along the way, he's been the world's worst gossip columnist, an almost-hip young gunslinger at the NME, a Radio 1 DJ (enduring a hellish Radio 1 roadshow in a car park in Birmingham), an ITV presenter, EastEnders scriptwriter, ghost writer for a major TV personality and much, much more. It charts a world of hedonism, mundanity, towering egos, shallow idiocy and occasional moments of mind-blowing joy. And, of course, being sent shit in a box.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #126090 in Books
• Published on: 2008-07-03
• Original language: English
• Binding: Paperback
• 368 pages

Q Magazine, June 2007
'all recounted in a wittily self-deprecating style. As good an
insight into magazine life as you'll get.'

Hot Stars, 5 May 2007
'Film critic Andrew Collins takes us on an amusing journey of how
he got to where he is today - from working in a supermarket to sipping
champers with the stars. Entertaining from start to finish.'

From the Publisher
Self-deprecating tale of an ordinary man's life in the celebrity bear pit – from the Sunday Times-bestselling author

Customer Reviews

oh no it isn't...
Couldn't help feeling that the theme of this book and the reality of Andrew Collins' life seem somewhat at odds; although he sets out to describe the party from the point of view of the ordinary boy in the kitchen, his CV suggests a rather different location. Self-deprecation is all very commendable but smacks rather more of false modesty as he moves from one high profile editorship to another, taking leading roles in many of the biggest and best-loved publications of the 80s and 90s and then going on to what would, by most yardsticks, count as a pretty successful career in media and entertainment. Not quite the shrinking violet, one suspects.

Highly readable for the most part, however, particularly in his attempts to break into the music press (a dream shared by many who grew up in the 70s regarding the NME as a Bible which arrived in weekly instalments), and worth the admission price for that alone.

The best mate I never had
This is the latest (third) part of the author's autobiography. Having enjoyed all three, I feel as if I know Mr Collins all my life. It is only in this latest instalment that he moves from the ordinary to a variety of jobs at NME, the BBC, Radio 1, Empire magazine and Radio Times, but we feel pleased for him because we feel we know him and deep down is an ordinary fan boy like the rest of us.

The focus here is work related, very little about relationships, marriage, family etc and it would have been nice to have a flavour.

He writes with ease and with a wry look at himself and the people around him and never takes himself seriously. It's astonishing that someone can have produced a three-part biography at the age of forty without being overly famous!

If I met him in a pub, I'd buy him a pint because I feel I've known him all his life and that is the essence of his books, you feel you have grown up with him.

Not that funny for a comedy writer
I am of a similar vintage to Andrew Collins so I was looking forward to reading this book. But I found it a bit disappointing. The description of the life of a music journalist provided an interesting insight, but I found his writing style a bit pedestrian. Some of the book looked like it had been transcribed directly from a diary, but for entertainment's sake I wished he had spent some time "jazzing it up". In the end I struggled to finish it because I found it boring.