Listmania!
Movies And Music I Hate With A Passion
The Fifth Element [DVD] [1997]The Fifth Element [DVD] [1997]
Buy used from: £2.35
Oddly oppressive over stylized visuals get to the point were it becomes claustrophobic in its effect. Story terrible and the humour childishly painful. Worst movie ever!
Supernova [DVD] [2000]Supernova [DVD] [2000]
Buy new: £2.98 / Used from: £0.76
This movie's been made MUCH better as Event Horizon. Same set up, plot, and better direction. At least you can see it unlike this murky movie hiding behind a black screen -I can't see it it's so dark.
Exorcist 2 - The Heretic [DVD] [1977]Exorcist 2 - The Heretic [DVD] [1977]
Buy new: £3.97 / Used from: £2.99
Looks hideous with its gaudy production design & the script is full of odd and silly concepts. Dialogue about philosophy is deeply pretentious. Dreary awful film from start to finish.
Freddy vs Jason [DVD] [2003]Freddy vs Jason [DVD] [2003]
Buy new: £4.98 / Used from: £1.20
Way too fast. Dense jungle of back-stories that's almost impossible to digest. Actors don't have enough time to react to anything that happens so everything feels weird & stagey.
The Long Goodbye [DVD] [1973]The Long Goodbye [DVD] [1973]
Buy new: £4.88 / Used from: £2.21
Altman can't tell a simple story. Anytime he's only got 1 or 2 storylines his films fail. This is typical of how slow, lumpy & uninteresting a director he can be. He needs dense storylines.
Tales of a Librarian: A Tori Amos CollectionTales of a Librarian: A Tori Amos Collection by Tori Amos
Buy new: £5.78 / Used from: £3.74
Silent All These Years & Cornflake Girl are great songs. The rest are the very worst examples of singer-songwriter self-indulgence. Stop start, wispy fragile music & obtusely flowery lyrics. Annoying.
A History Of Violence [DVD] [2005]A History Of Violence [DVD] [2005]
Buy new: £4.98 / Used from: £0.77
It's OK. Just can't understand how pretentious critics can read so much meaning into so little. Super simple A - B - C story with paddling pool depths of meaning. At the end I asked, "Is that it?"
Eyes Wide Shut [DVD] [1999]Eyes Wide Shut [DVD] [1999]
Buy new: £4.98 / Used from: £2.47
You don't pray for the movie to end, you pray for the current scene to end it's that long & boring. Slight, banal, TV movie 40 min story inflated to 153 mins.Critics wouldn't praise if not by Kubrick!
Barry Lyndon [1975] [DVD]Barry Lyndon [1975] [DVD]
Buy new: £4.48 / Used from: £3.00
3 boring hours crawl by. Even when it has interesting incidents it bores because of Kubrick's distant, stiff camera work. The period setting is dull. War & duels have never been so boring.
VivianVivian by Vivian Green
Buy used from: £7.38
Bad, bland R'n'B. Weird egotistical track at the end. Friends, family & crew in interviews praise her brilliance over a jazz vamp Muzak background! Painfully awful.
Body LanguageBody Language by Kylie Minogue
Buy new: £6.98 / Used from: £0.01
Pop albums in general. Always have 2 or 3 great singles & the rest are lazy, under written "songs". Can anyone listen to a pop album from start to finish more than twice? Hope iTunes kills them all.
28 Days Later ... [DVD] [2002]28 Days Later ... [DVD] [2002]
Buy new: £4.78 / Used from: £0.02
The worst script ever, the writer is incompetent. Director is dreadful & has no idea how to film scares, which is kind of important with a horror film. Not one good thing about this dogs breakfast.
Cabin Fever [DVD] [2003]Cabin Fever [DVD] [2003]
Buy used from: £0.47
A real rarity - a badly structured film. Nothing builds & adds up in a clear coherent way. Supposed to be an isolated cabin but film has a cast bigger than Ben Hur. Some funny dialogue though.
Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind [DVD] [2003]Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind [DVD] [2003]
Buy new: £3.98 / Used from: £1.02
I hate the lead actor/character(?) with a passion that surprises me. Fake, contrived, boring & weirdly directed. They got so caught up in making it they forgot to bring the drama to the set with them.
The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (2 Disc Edition) [DVD] [2005]The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (2 Disc Edition) [DVD] [2005]
Buy used from: £0.81
Film's OK but TV & book versions much better. Hate over-rated Bill Nighy. He had all the best lines & he slaughtered them all with his befuddled hippie interpretation of the character.
Punch-Drunk Love [DVD] [2003]Punch-Drunk Love [DVD] [2003]
Buy used from: £1.85
Couldn't stand its slow, subdued, near surreal, meticulously & fussily controlled style. And practically no dialogue. This film was the cinematic equivalent of a slow elevator ride into hell.
The Thin Red Line [1999] [DVD]The Thin Red Line [1999] [DVD]
Buy new: £3.98 / Used from: £1.47
Starts with a long discussion about philosophy. Gave up right there & then before I slipped into a coma. Too pretentious & self important to be taken seriously. Badlands is also a dull over-rated film
Ocean's Twelve [DVD] [2004]Ocean's Twelve [DVD] [2004]
Buy new: £4.78 / Used from: £0.37
Director said that 11 was the toughest thing he's made because it was so insubstantial. 12 must have sent him loopy as there isn't even characters or a story.Almost avant garde in its random emptiness
Lost In Translation [DVD] [2004]Lost In Translation [DVD] [2004]
Buy new: £3.98 / Used from: £1.10
Exciting new director? Emperor's new clothes! Can't tell a story so all her films become vapid mood pieces. Slow, pointless & dull. She should be making video installations for art galleries!
Dancing Down the Stony RoadDancing Down the Stony Road by Chris Rea
Buy used from: £12.50
Dullest album he's released & with Rea's track record that's saying something. Lyrics are too vague (where are the stories?) & musically it plods.
Double Jeopardy - Dvd [2000]Double Jeopardy - Dvd [2000]
Buy new: £4.98 / Used from: £3.39
Most disappointing film I've ever seen. Great powerful concept rendered toothless by sanitised, bland treatment. Needed to embrace the story's moral darkness but didn't. Ending is a giant cop out.
ItIt by Stephen King
Buy new: £5.60 / Used from: £4.80
Why is King one of the worst writers? Because he keeps writing the same over long ponderous book. Some details change, but not much else. Lazy bad writing & half ar**d supernatural imagination.
Oldboy [DVD] [2003]Oldboy [DVD] [2003]
Buy used from: £4.49
Made by the world's most immature,sadistic 13 year-old.It's attitude to sex & violence is embarrassing.Also fake contrived drama/emotions (see the end barking dog scene to see an idiots idea of drama)
The Double Life Of Veronique [DVD] [1991]The Double Life Of Veronique [DVD] [1991]
Buy new: £8.98 / Used from: £7.99
What it has for a story is a bunch of wispy, pointless incidences that fail to make any impact separately or when combined with the rest of the "narrative". A true post-content movie. Awful art house.