Product Description

It's not dog-eat-dog around here...it's dog-gang-rapes-dog-then-tortures-him-for-five-days-before-burying-him-alive-and-taking-out-every-motherfucker-the-dog-has-ever-known. Meet Steven Stelfox. London 1997: New Labour is sweeping into power and Britpop is at its zenith. Twenty-seven-year-old A&R man Stelfox is slashing and burning his way through the music industry, a world where 'no one knows anything' and where careers are made and broken by chance and the fickle tastes of the general public - 'Yeah, those animals'. Fuelled by greed and inhuman quantities of cocaine, Stelfox blithely criss-crosses the globe ('New York, Cologne, Texas, Miami, Cannes: you shout at waiters and sign credit card slips and all that really changes is the quality of the porn') searching for the next hit record amid a relentless orgy of self-gratification.But as the hits dry up and the industry begins to change, Stelfox must take the notion of cutthroat business practices to murderous new levels in a desperate attempt to salvage his career. "Kill Your Friends" is a dark, satirical and hysterically funny evisceration of the record business, a place populated by frauds, charlatans and bluffers, where ambition is a higher currency than talent, and where it seems anything can be achieved - as long as you want it badly enough.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #3727 in Books
• Published on: 2009-02-05
• Original language: English
• Binding: Paperback
• 336 pages

Review
"Compulsive reading, a one-sitting sprint... a triumph." --maxdunbar.wordpress.com, March 2009

Review
"Dark, twisted... and also laugh-out-loud funny"

India Knight
`Brilliant. It made me ill with laughter. The filthiest, blackest, most shocking, most hilarious debut novel I've read in years.'

Customer Reviews

Exactly what it says on the tin!!!
Heard about this on 'The Book Cafe' on Radio Scotland a couple of weeks ago and took the chance...An excellent read - two nights only! A book NOT for the faint-hearted. If you like biographical and hard-hitting and are not a prude then read this. You could say it is an 'expose' of the music business but to be frank it is written with such a great sense of irony that you can't help yourself getting into it. Passed it on to a pal of mine who is a bit particular when it comes to books but as he said, the first two chapters hooked him, and I'm pretty sure he will have finished it by now. I look forward to his review when I see him in a couple of days. Go on - make John Niven a bestselling author - even if I am biased and he originates from my neck of the woods.

"You can,t spell star without A & R "
I'd say that on any given day roughly about 25% of the thoughts that run through my head are about a tenth as un P.C. or as gratuitously offensive as what goes through the mind of the lead character in Kill Your Friends" .But then my thoughts wouldn't make for a very good book.
Steven Stelfox ( mis-spelt "Stalefox" ,"Stellfax", "Stellarfix" amongst others) works in the A&R department for a major record company and is an A grade reprobate , seething with neurosis, insecurities and mind bogglingly odious opinions. He is racist, foul-mouthed , dishonest , ignorant , bigoted and sexist. He has a voracious drink and drug habit( fuelled mainly by expenses) a voracious sexual appetite( fuelled mainly by pornography and prostitutes) and for someone in the music business knows absolutely zilch about music. He is probably entirely representative of most of the chancers who work in the music business. For all his myriad faults I found myself quite warming to him in many ways. He is laceratingly honest and he is funny . Could do without the homicidal tendencies though......and his love of Oasis come to that.
Though the book mainly highlights how ridiculous ,arbitrary and shallow the music business is it also occasionally hones in with laser like precision at a social and cultural point ( the book starts in 1997) so there are pertinent points about Tony Blair and the death of Princess Diana .A bit more of this and less of the relentless partying and sleazy cavorting would have been welcome , but then the book is a reflection of it's main character who is a unyielding partaker of exotic substances so I suppose it's to be expected. The correlations about the character of Stelfox and Patrick Bateman from American Psycho are there but where Bateman is clearly deranged Stelfox is just a ruthlessly ambitious amoral chancer. Kill Your Friends lacks the satirical elements of Brett Easton Ellis's novel though in it's own way it is just as disgusting .
So be warned , if you are easily offended steer well clear of this book. In fact do not come within fifty yards unless armed with holy water and a copy of "Heat" to remind you how wonderful and talented all those celebrities truly are. I found the book hugely entertaining and at times laugh out loud funny. The plots thin but then it's not meant to be Inspector Morse or Agatha Christie.
Having worked in the business I suspect John Niven really does view it the same way as his character .Having done some very low level booking and promoting of gigs in the late eighties/early nineties I can certainly see where he is coming from as well. As the quote from Hunter S Thompson at the beginning of the book says "The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free and good men die like dogs . There is also a negative side". That's a joke I,m sure ...the last bit .As the book also says "We should take off and nuke the site from orbit" ( with reference to a nightclub in the book -nicked from Aliens [1986] [DVD] that line I think) Sounds a good idea where most record companies are concerned. Ohh and I rather liked Black Star Liner .

Cried with laughter
Having worked in A & R in the relevant period, I was looking forward to this book. I didn't know the author, but certainly recognize many of the real-life people that the characters in the book are supposedly based. Niven has added about 15% of excess and a couple of homicides...that is all!

One of the real pleasures of the book is how well written and plotted it is. The prose flies off the page, the pace is superb, and the twists and turns plenty. However, it is the sheer hilarity of 'Kill Your Friends' that takes the trophy. I laughed out loud more than in any other book. One afternoon, when in a restaurant full of Chelsea type retirees, I read of our hero in a hotel room spotting a certain piece of sweetcorn across the room. I'm afraid I had to leave the restaurant in tears.

If you like it high octane, politically incorrect to the max, absolutely revolting, completely hilarious and have a vague idea about chang, beak, bugle, gak, krell, powder, chisel, nonsense, bounce, blow, toot, chang and posh, then this could be for you.

Laugh, I nearly died. Disgusting.