Product Description

It's not dog-eat-dog around here...it's dog-gang-rapes-dog-then-tortures-him-for-five-days-before-burying-him-alive-and-taking-out-every-motherfucker-the-dog-has-ever-known. Meet Steven Stelfox. London 1997: New Labour is sweeping into power and Britpop is at its zenith. Twenty-seven-year-old A&R man Stelfox is slashing and burning his way through the music industry, a world where 'no one knows anything' and where careers are made and broken by chance and the fickle tastes of the general public - 'Yeah, those animals'. Fuelled by greed and inhuman quantities of cocaine Stelfox, blithely criss-crosses the globe ('New York, Cologne, Texas, Miami, Cannes: you shout at waiters and sign credit card slips and all that really changes is the quality of the porn') searching for the next hit record amid a relentless orgy of self-gratification.But as the hits dry up and the industry begins to change, Stelfox must take the notion of cutthroat business practices to murderous new levels in a desperate attempt to salvage his career. "Kill Your Friends" is a dark, satirical and hysterically funny evisceration of the record business, a place populated by frauds, charlatans and bluffers, where ambition is a higher currency than talent, and where it seems anything can be achieved - as long as you want it badly enough.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #53265 in Books
• Published on: 2008-02-07
• Original language: English
• Binding: Paperback
• 336 pages

Niall Griffiths
`Kill Your Friends gladly hammers the final and needed nail into the coffin of self-serving and undignified spin that was "Cool Britannia". It exposes a world that seethes alongside us and in which we all collude but whose nasty little machinery is rarely glimpsed. The novel is furiously, filthily funny, and, I imagine, tragically true.'

James Brown
`Anyone working in or trying to get into the music industry should read this book. Niven grotesquely portrays the short term disposability of this world with a great eye for detail and a stockpile of hilarious insults. Throw in some murder and major brand obsession and you have an indie American Psycho.'

India Knight
`Brilliant. It made me ill with laughter. The filthiest, blackest, most shocking, most hilarious debut novel I've read in years.'

Customer Reviews

Exactly what it says on the tin!!!
Heard about this on 'The Book Cafe' on Radio Scotland a couple of weeks ago and took the chance...An excellent read - two nights only! A book NOT for the faint-hearted. If you like biographical and hard-hitting and are not a prude then read this. You could say it is an 'expose' of the music business but to be frank it is written with such a great sense of irony that you can't help yourself getting into it. Passed it on to a pal of mine who is a bit particular when it comes to books but as he said, the first two chapters hooked him, and I'm pretty sure he will have finished it by now. I look forward to his review when I see him in a couple of days. Go on - make John Niven a bestselling author - even if I am biased and he originates from my neck of the woods.

"You can,t spell star without A & R "
I'd say that on any given day roughly about 25% of the thoughts that run through my head are about a tenth as un P.C. or as gratuitously offensive as what goes through the mind of the lead character in Kill Your Friends" .But then my thoughts wouldn't make for a very good book.
Steven Stelfox ( mis-spelt "Stalefox" ,"Stellfax", "Stellarfix" amongst others) works in the A&R department for a major record company and is an A grade reprobate , seething with neurosis, insecurities and mind bogglingly odious opinions. He is racist, foul-mouthed , dishonest , ignorant , bigoted and sexist. He has a voracious drink and drug habit( fuelled mainly by expenses) a voracious sexual appetite( fuelled mainly by pornography and prostitutes) and for someone in the music business knows absolutely zilch about music. He is probably entirely representative of most of the chancers who work in the music business. For all his myriad faults I found myself quite warming to him in many ways. He is laceratingly honest and he is funny . Could do without the homicidal tendencies though......and his love of Oasis come to that.
Though the book mainly highlights how ridiculous ,arbitrary and shallow the music business is it also occasionally hones in with laser like precision at a social and cultural point ( the book starts in 1997) so there are pertinent points about Tony Blair and the death of Princess Diana .A bit more of this and less of the relentless partying and sleazy cavorting would have been welcome , but then the book is a reflection of it's main character who is a unyielding partaker of exotic substances so I suppose it's to be expected. The correlations about the character of Stelfox and Patrick Bateman from American Psycho are there but where Bateman is clearly deranged Stelfox is just a ruthlessly ambitious amoral chancer. Kill Your Friends lacks the satirical elements of Brett Easton Ellis's novel though in it's own way it is just as disgusting .
So be warned , if you are easily offended steer well clear of this book. In fact do not come within fifty yards unless armed with holy water and a copy of "Heat" to remind you how wonderful and talented all those celebrities truly are. I found the book hugely entertaining and at times laugh out loud funny. The plots thin but then it's not meant to be Inspector Morse or Agatha Christie.
Having worked in the business I suspect John Niven really does view it the same way as his character .Having done some very low level booking and promoting of gigs in the late eighties/early nineties I can certainly see where he is coming from as well. As the quote from Hunter S Thompson at the beginning of the book says "The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free and good men die like dogs . There is also a negative side". That's a joke I,m sure ...the last bit .As the book also says "We should take off and nuke the site from orbit" ( with reference to a nightclub in the book -nicked from Aliens [1986] [DVD] that line I think) Sounds a good idea where most record companies are concerned. Ohh and I rather liked Black Star Liner .

I feel broken...
I'm not sure I should be spending time actually reviewing this, as getting down on my knees and praying for the salvation of humanity might be a better use of my time. Don't get me wrong, in my opinion, it was a very good novel. However, I thought the protagonist was simply the worst humanity has to offer, the personification of Satan on earth. The depths that "Steven Stelfox" sinks to make you feel violated in a way that only a shower with brillo pads could expunge. Truly a character to sully the soul.

Paradoxically, I couldn't put the damn thing down. It is incredibly well written, as is any novel with a character that has a strong emotional effect. The author is talented, and hilarious.

Nivens depictions of Stelfox's thought process are side-splitting as well as repellent. He seems to have turned the curse ridden one-liner into an art form. Which is a relief because without the exquisite humour, the novel wouldn't work, as it would be so debauched that I would have thrown in on the fire. The humour keeps it just light enough to engage with a very real, if evil, character, the likes of which I have never seen before - and hope I never have any close dealings with.

The story covers one year in the music business, and in much the same way as "City Boy" by Geraint Anderson reveals the dark underbelly of the finance industry, this does the same for record labels. The difference being that it is hard to see any upside, or how anyone could stand up to so much alcohol and drug abuse, while still being able to utter a coherent sentence.

Murder, drugs, pornography, booze and more booze are the staple diet of Stelfox. The dark humoured look into his twisted mind lifts the lid on the ruinous side to this industry and the intoxicating lure of fame and adoration. Finally evolving itself to a basic drive to be intoxicated with almost anything that destroys brain cells and morality

It was recommended to me that I read "American psycho" as a follow up, but I'm not sure I could take it at the moment; the torment from this novel has addled my brain.

Stelfox is horrible, but it is rubbernecked fiction at its best. As I said before, Niven's style of written humour is simply exceptional. If you're easily offended don't bother. If you enjoy being offended maybe you should be in the book. If you're curious and don't mind being slightly sickened, in exchange for being made to laugh then read it. I'm confused now so I'm going to stop.