Product Description

In a world of reflected glory and shameless name-dropping, no one can touch America's most puritanical pundit, Betty Bowers. Betty is so close to Jesus, He's given her His loaves and fish recipe. And only Betty knows how many shopping days there are until the Apocalypse. As she is fond of saying: "Since God created me in His image, I have more than returned the compliment!"

With Prada and prayer, Betty has devoted her life to bringing people the Good News: That they are going straight to Hell. Now, with What Would Betty Do?, Betty finally reveals her spiritual survival secrets. You'll discover how, come Judgment Day, to be whisked through the "10 Sins or Less" Express Line. But first, you will have to learn how to vote (for God's Own Party, the Republicans), whom to hate (Lie-berals and other non-Baptists) and what to throw (a soiree -- and then a few stones!).

Unchic? Unsaved? Wavering Faith? Wandering Hands? A pair of $600 Manolo Blahnik pumps that won't go with anything? No problem! Just ask yourself-What Would Betty Do?

Praise for bettybowers.com:

"Betty Bowers's self-righteous advice will stir the church day memories of many a stray sheep" - A Netscape Editor's Choice

"Epic-proportioned tongue-in-cheek humor" - The Advocate

"Editor's Pick-Best in Category" - American Online

"Brilliant" - Netweek magazine

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #1118744 in Books
• Published on: 2002-03-25
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 176 pages

From the Author
As America's Best Christian, I have just written "What Would Betty Do?" -- a spiritual handbook that reveals my extraordinary secrets for not only getting into Heaven, but also qualifying for the a knowing nod from the doorman to avoid the queue. Rather than making this wise and witty guidebook available only to the eight stylish people who deserve to join me in Glory, Simon & Schuster has had the thoughtless temerity to make my secrets available to the general public! Copies of "What Would Betty Do?" have been sent to secular bookstores throughout America - and making it available to the alarmingly un-American souls in Britain through Amazon! Now, millions of dreadfully exasperating unsaved people suddenly have access to an eternity - with you! Please do your part to shield yourself and me from their annoying company in the hereafter by buying up all the available copies of "What Would Betty Do?" before they do. Remember: If Heaven is just going to involve!
running into all the same people you avoid here on Earth, what would be the point? After all, it is hard enough to avoid the truly dreadful here on Earth when they only have a finite amount of time to find you.