Product Description

The 'Gentler Sex'? Not so, according to Rosalind Wiseman. Girls can be cruel. In her compelling book Queen Bees and Wannabes Wiseman cracks the 'girl code' and explains how girls' friendships are the key to enduring adolescence - as well as the biggest threat to their happiness and well-being. Rosalind Wiseman has spent a decade listening to girls talk about the powerful impact that girl cliques have on what they wear, how they respond to boys and how they feel about themselves. Here, quoting dozens of adolescent and teenage girls, she reveals her findings and teaches parents how to: Understand the secret world of cliques; Identify the various roles teenage girls play - including Queen Bees, Wannabes, Messengers, Bankers and Targets; Infiltrate 'Girl World' to analyse teasing and gossip; boys and sex; alcohol and drugs and more; Help your daughter to take control of her situation - using the book's sample scripts, bulleted lists and easy to use advice. Written in a down-to-earth style and packed with examples and tips, Queen Bees and Wannabes is an invaluable guide for parents to empower their daughters and themselves.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #30827 in Books
• Published on: 2003-06-26
• Original language: English
• Binding: Paperback
• 352 pages

About the Author
Author is a cofounder of the Empower Program, a non-profit organisation that works to empower adolescent girls and boys and stop violence. She is an adviser to Liz Claiborne's Women's Work program and has been featured on The Oprah Winfrey Show and CNN

Customer Reviews

It's not only for parents - read this book!
A stunning book. It's very rare for US advice books to be relevant to British society, but this one is not at all culturally specific. No American peculiarities (evangelism, no sex before marriage, cheerleading) are mentioned - just excellent, straightforward information about what really goes on in teenage girls' friendships, and advice on how to help your daughter overcome the problems of cliquiness. It all rings incredibly true: as you read through the social categories Wiseman identifies (Queen Bee, Messenger, Target) you find yourself thinking, "I knew that girl!" and analysing how your own secondary school peer group fitted into these patterns. This makes it fascinating reading even for those without children, as genuine insight is provided into how girls think. I learnt a lot about myself by reading this book, which was unexpected!

Wiseman's due particular credit for not just writing about rich white popular girls, as films on this subject have depicted ('Thirteen', 'Mean Girls'). She looks at social class, ethnicity and homosexuality, not being judgemental about any of these but outlining the specific issues girls in these groups face, while emphasising her overall point that most teenage girl friendship groups follow the same sorts of patterns. After all, all girls are having to find their identities within impossible cultural models of ideal femininity, which demand that she is sexy but not slutty, confident yet not threatening to men. Wiseman's particularly good (and even-handed) at assessing the social pressures teenage boys are under, and why this can lead them to treat girls badly so as to seem manly. Show this section to your daughter, because it explains a lot! Throughout the book, no excuses are made, just advice on how to have proper, supportive conversations with your daughter and help her find ways of dealing with peer pressure. I wish my mum (and I) had read this when I was 14 - that says it all, really.

Some parents might be shocked: this book doesn't pull any punches. If your daughter's being the ringleader of mean behaviour, Wiseman insists you deal with it, and likewise if your parenting's not up to scratch. She also doesn't flinch from addressing the darkest side of teenage relationships, namely abusive boyfriends and date rape. It's upsetting reading, to be sure, but this stuff does go on and parents have got to be aware. While never doom-mongering, nonetheless it's a shame the author didn't conclude by saying that most teenage girls do come through their teenage years fairly unscathed and well-adjusted. With parents who read this book and make an effort to do what is says - communicate with your daughter! - I reckon this happy outcome is made considerably more likely.

Not just for parents!
A stunning book. It's very rare for US advice books to be relevant to British society, but this one is not at all culturally specific. No American peculiarities (evangelism, no sex before marriage, cheerleading) are mentioned - just excellent, straightforward information about what really goes on in teenage girls' friendships, and advice on how to help your daughter overcome the problems of cliquiness. It all rings incredibly true: as you read through the social categories Wiseman identifies (Queen Bee, Messenger, Target) you find yourself thinking, "I knew that girl!" and analysing how your own secondary school peer group fitted into these patterns. This makes it fascinating reading even for those without children, as genuine insight is provided into how girls think. I learnt a lot about myself by reading this book, which was unexpected!

Wiseman's due particular credit for not just writing about rich white popular girls, as films on this subject have depicted ('Thirteen', 'Mean Girls'). She looks at social class, ethnicity and homosexuality, not being judgemental about any of these but outlining the specific issues girls in these groups face, while emphasising her overall point that most teenage girl friendship groups follow the same sorts of patterns. After all, all girls are having to find their identities within impossible cultural models of ideal femininity, which demand that she is sexy but not slutty, confident yet not threatening to men. Wiseman's particularly good (and even-handed) at assessing the social pressures teenage boys are under, and why this can lead them to treat girls badly so as to seem manly. Show this section to your daughter, because it explains a lot! Throughout the book, no excuses are made, just advice on how to have proper, supportive conversations with your daughter and help her find ways of dealing with peer pressure. I wish my mum (and I) had read this when I was 14 - that says it all, really.

Some parents might be shocked: this book doesn't pull any punches. If your daughter's being the ringleader of mean behaviour, Wiseman insists you deal with it, and likewise if your parenting's not up to scratch. She also doesn't flinch from addressing the darkest side of teenage relationships, namely abusive boyfriends and date rape. It's upsetting reading, to be sure, but this stuff does go on and parents have got to be aware. While never doom-mongering, nonetheless it's a shame the author didn't conclude by saying that most teenage girls do come through their teenage years fairly unscathed and well-adjusted. With parents who read this book and make an effort to do what is says - communicate with your daughter! - I reckon this happy outcome is made considerably more likely.

Queen Bees exposed
Superb book; simple, clear, immediately understandable. Good for professionals who train colleagues who work with difficult teenage girls. Also relevant for parents who have daughters are not happy/ seem to be ill- with no real cause/don't seem secure etc but are not being "bullied"