Product Description

Vicky and Charlie, twenty-somethings, one the son of a vicar, the other the daughter of a much loved Radio 4 and Times columnist, friends for years but never boyfriend/girlfriend, decide to make a hardcore porn movie. Vicky and Charlie are best friends who used to co-review hardcore porn movies. After a year of fat lechers, bored hookers and clunky dialogue, they said, "Hang on, we could make a better film than this ourselves." What was to stop them? Only their conservative families, stammering English reserve, and total lack of experience. They set off at once. This is the extraordinary and hilarious story of their journey from a sofa in North London, through the heart of the sex industry in California, to their own film set in Amsterdam. What happens when a 'nice girl' falls in love with a rent-boy, and a vicar's son attempts to film a gang-bang? Vicky and Charlie learned to see the world through new eyes, and the sex-workers learned how to play cribbage. And together they produced perhaps the most baffling skinflick in history.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #26703 in Books
• Published on: 2003-04-07
• Original language: English
• Binding: Paperback
• 352 pages

Review
'An eminently readable account of utter filth. Just my cup of tea.' Griff Rhys Jones 'Funny, insightful and not at all unpleasant. Well, okay, maybe a little bit unpleasant but you can always avert your gaze.' Jonathan Ross 'This is the Springtime For Hitler of porn. It's a gripping adventure, and obviously the funniest book you'll read all year.' Caitlin Moran 'Strangely avoiding the obvious title Hansel and Gretel in Porno Hell, Victoria and Charlie have succeeded in writing a book they are not old enough to read. Certainly I wasn't.' Clive James 'Exceedingly funny' Tatler 'Extremely funny, surprisingly heart-warming' GQ 'A satisfyingly prurient read, a hybrid of Eurotrash and Ealing comedy, with added lube.' Ian Thomson, Daily Telegraph 'You will not read a funnier account of shooting a porn movie.' Jeanette Winterson 'It is a relentlessly funny book and I couldn't put it down.' Stephanie Merritt, Observer

GQ
'Extremely funny, surprisingly heartwarming.'

Jonathan Ross.
‘Funny, insightful and not at all unpleasant. Well, okay, maybe a little bit unpleasant but you can always avert your gaze.’

Customer Reviews

Its no Catch 22, but..........
The book, in essense, is a Story of two late 20 something, middle England (dare i say "nottinghillesqe?) writers who - after a stint of reviewing porn films for an erotic magazine - decide that they could do better and decide to embark on a journey to make the "greatest porn film ever". The book spans the period of coming up with the idea in London, to venturing on a fact finding mission in the Porn Mecca of LA, and finally the casting and filming in Amsterdam.

The description of this book by some critics a "rip roaring, thigh slapping comedy" falls a little short. It is more than that. It is also a moving, dark and often sad self discovery process for the authors and also the reader as they explore the 'darker' side of humanity...in the form of rent boys and whores with no money, no prospect and no passports just trying to get by in the city of sin - of people taking advantage of others - and of people seeing and living this dark side and then trying to make a difference. There are some witty, profound, sexy and occasionally downright weird characters that Vicky and Charlie (the authors) pick up along the way, but all are given a chance to explain themselves and their industry, and i think the authors give them a very open minded (if not slightly tongue in cheek) hearing before handing down judgement. The authors also seem to maintain an almost psychotic sense of optimism even in the most dire circumstance (actors walking off set...refusing to do certain backdoor scenes etc) which only adds to the affection you feel for them by the end of the book!!

The only thing that slightly bogged the book down (i think) were the slightly lengthy asides the authors were prone to on the morality of making such a film...they obviously discovered it wasn't going to be the pg swashbuckling adventure they had imagined and it starts to take its toll on their conscience.

Anyway - in a nutshell - a great, funny, poigniant novel with a dark, shaddy and rather sexy underside. Its no catch 22 but give it a read just the same.

Not bad
This book is readable and compelling enough, but nowhere as exciting as the jacket and commentary here would suggest. First of all, I suspect non-UK readers will not find it all that funny, as it is an intimate account of two very British subjects coping with the world outside the Isles ... from within the realm of their Isles mentality. Second, most Dutch readers will soon get tired of hearing yet another account of the same British / American clichés about Amsterdam all over again (FYI: Smokey's pre-rolled joints are a tourist scam and DO NOT - I repeat: DO NOT - get you high. The very British, very charming and very gay bartender does exist, though).

What keeps the book going is that the two writers do sound honest, and who isn't interested in a story about two outsiders that get themselves in way over their heads and react by ploughing on with all their might and meagre resources ... out of sheer desperation.

Which gets me back to the original point. Either I am missing a huge joke here, or I'm going to have to claim that the book presentation is extremely misleading. It is pretty clear from early on that this pair is not out to make "the greatest porn film ever". In fact, from the scarce yet alarming technical details that once in a very long while show up throughout the book, they never had a chance ... or really tried. Sure, modern DV cameras are excellent tools by themselves. But the same could be said of English - and if you do not know how to spell or use grammar properly, you'll never write anything "great". Likewise, you cannot make a great movie if you do not know anything about cinematography, light, sound ("we discovered that our cameras had no input jacks for external mikes" - pleeeeease) , etc.

In summary, this is a book written by people who do know how to write about their experiences trying to make a movie that, far from being "the greatest porn ever", sounds a lot more like a high-school class movie project. The key words here are "highly amateurish approach to filmmaking". Thus, the book does not really teach you anything new about porn that you couldn't find in the many articles written in the mainstream press about the subject - but it does dissect extremely well the reactions of a pair of well-educated Western liberals to the world surrounding blue movies. In that sense, it reminded me quite a bit of "Patpong Sisters", in which an American woman dives into the Thai sex industry and tells yet another intimate account of a liberal Westerner confronting the sexual taboos of the times - looking to write her PhD dissertation about it. Intriguing in both cases, but don't expect to be blown away.

Note to the authors - next time, consider giving some explanation about the budget. Where did the final figure come from? Where did the money come from? At the end of the day, the only reason porn movies are made is to make a profit. Discussing the finer points of the script is good, but the script is not the movie, like the shoot is not the movie and the editing is not the movie. The movie is a combination of it all, and there are large gaps in this portrayal.

A funny tale of utter filth!
This is the account of two friends, Vicky and Charlie, who got bored with the terrible plotlines of the porn films that they had to review, so they decided to make their own. They packed their bags and headed for America to pick the brains of the top stars and directors of the adult movie scene, before going to Amsterdam to make their porn masterwork.

This excellent book tells of their plight of being first time film makers and the issues of finding a cast at escort agencies, location scouting at some Amsterdam's seedier nightspots, arguments over the script, their inner moral turmoil and embarrassment, and what their friends, colleagues and families will make of it all.

This is an extremely funny book, which I can highly recommend - just don't let your Nan read it!