Product Description

Rape and child sexual abuse occur more frequently throughout the world than is commonly realised, yet only a very small proportion of cases come to public attention. Those who have experienced abuse can be plunged into a nightmare world in which they are surrounded by imminent danger, both real and imagined. Irrespective of the age and gender of the victim, the resulting trauma can be severely distressing and, if untreated, the effects may last a lifetime. Hurting & Heading provides clear, practical advice and healing strategies for sufferers of sexual abuse and rape, and also gives guidance for professionals working with them. The book explores how to break the cycle of abuse and explains how the abused and potential abusers can learn to think differently about themselves and develop a new and positive approach to life.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #503876 in Books
• Published on: 2001-09-28
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 160 pages

About the Author
Gloria Wade, BAC Acc, DHC, is a psychotherapist who has been training therapists, counsellors, probation and social workers in the field of sexual abuse and rape for many years. A sexually abused child herself, she has run courses and workshops in the UK for the past 10 years. She is in general practice in Suffolk, counselling abusers and the abused.

Customer Reviews

The most practical self-help book on the subject.
As a psychotherapist I have read many books on the subject of sexual abuse and rape.Some are very helpful-others full of psychobabble while a few are frankly dangerous. "Hurting and Healing" is the most readable and practical self-help book I have ever read on this subject. In 136 pages Gloria Wade clearly explains the diferent forms of rape and sexual abuse including that of men and the elderly;people that are sadly often overlooked. There is even a section for the partners of survivors helping them to come to terms with there own feelings and support there loved one. Gloria then clearly explains many effective self-help stratages and exercises that can be undertaken on ones own or with the support of a therapist or recovery group. These are some of the most creative tecqenics that I have ever seen and I will certainly be incorporating them into my practice. Gloria Wade states that when it comes to healing from the trauma of abuse there are no quick fixes. However "hurting and Healing" correctly applied will put the survivor on the road to recovery.

More hurting than necessary, perhaps
This book contains a few ideas that could lead to healing creativity, but it also contains some that could be found fairly alarming. For instance, the author suggests that victims of male rape who're telling themselves they're no good and wimps etc. for having allowed it to happen to them should have a photo of a male they love and respect enlarged, look at it, imagine that what happened to them when they were raped is happening to the person in the photo, playing it through in their imagination scene by scene, and then imagine saying to them all the critical things they're thinking about themselves, to illustrate to themselves that men don't deserve such criticisms when they've been raped.

Surely they could just imagine it's already happened to the person they respect and they're saying all those things to them, rather than having to imagine it's happening to them scene by scene first!

And she recommends that people deal with their anger with a rapist by venting it, drawing a picture of him, sticking it on a mattress or bean bag, and then several times for as long as it takes to get anger under control, playing music that psyches them up, and attacking the picture with their fists or a weapon.

The trouble is that venting anger in this way can be like rehearsing behaviour. It can be like programming the brain to respond in a certain way, so if the person then felt provoked in the presence of the attacker, or someone who reminded them of them, they might be more likely to attack them than they would have been if they'd dealt with their anger another way. Then they could end up being the ones most hurt, or reported to the police. And venting anger can make it worse, or keep it going for a lot longer over time, even if it gives short-term relief.

And she suggests people can be healed of flashbacks by a process that I would consider more painful than necessary, writing down in detail everything that happens to them in the flashbacks, assessing what they've written on a scale of 1 to 5, one being only mildly discomforting and five being a panic attack, and then for flashbacks on a scale of 1-3, they should read everything onto a tape and then listen to it every day, stopping when they feel a particularly strong feeling, and then write a message of comfort to themselves as they were at that moment. Then they should turn the tape on again and listen to the whole thing in the same manner till they get to the end. She says people should do this again and again over time until they feel no distress. Or for flashbacks on a severity of 3-5 - it's a bit puzzling that she mentions 3 in both of them - people should record the experience again, but several times this time, just recording experiences from one sense at a time. For instance, if the flashback contained the person's pleas for help and lots of mocking abusive words from the attacker, they should repeat them all and then listen to them back time and time again till they feel no distress. And they should do the same with everything they saw etc. The author warns that the exercises may take months.

I would consider that more distressing than necessary. There are ways of getting over flashbacks that are much less painful.

The most practical self-help book on the subject.
As a psychotherapist I have read many books on the subject of sexual abuse and rape.Some are very helpful-others full of psychobabble while a few are frankly dangerous. "Hurting and Healing" is the most readable and practical self-help book I have ever read on this subject. In 136 pages Gloria Wade clearly explains the diferent forms of rape and sexual abuse including that of men and the elderly;people that are sadly often overlooked. There is even a section for the partners of survivors helping them to come to terms with there own feelings and support there loved one. Gloria then clearly explains many effective self-help stratages and exercises that can be undertaken on ones own or with the support of a therapist or recovery group. These are some of the most creative tecqenics that I have ever seen and I will certainly be incorporating them into my practice. Gloria Wade states that when it comes to healing from the trauma of abuse there are no quick fixes. However "hurting and Healing" correctly applied will put the survivor on the road to recovery.