Product Description

This book considers the inner world of the child and argues that children are more capable than many of us realize. Babies make their needs known; toddlers can walk for miles; teenagers are equipped to make their own decisions. Children need adult support, but they do not need interference, which can damage their growth. If we learn to trust our children at each stage, they are more likely to find their own balance. The author suggests ways in which parents can break their own cycle of control, which includes judgement and punishment, coaxing and overprotection. It also considers the needs of the parents. Modern life insists that we try to cram more and more into our day; this book is about doing a little less.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #171734 in Books
• Published on: 2003-07-07
• Original language: English
• Binding: Paperback
• 304 pages

Tatler
'A timely reminder that children grow up of their own accord, whether parents hot-house nurture them or not'

Top Sante
'A fascinating new perspective on the perplexing business of being a parent'

Esther Ripley
'A wonderfully readable account of relaxed parenting'

Customer Reviews

deeply thoughtful
i bought this book on the strength of deborah jackson's Three in a Bed, and it didn't disappoint.

It is hard, in a short review, to give credit to the full range of dj's insights and approach, since so much is covered. she has the knack of making our complex feelings and ideas feel simple and clear.

But - I would say - the basic tenet of her book is love, to relax and that is the letting go part of the title. I think she is also saying, which chimed with my views too - that there is so much emphasis, even in babyhood and toddlerhood and childhood on achievement, getting it right, being perfect (and being the perfect parent). Whether this takes the form of : toy libraries, early learning, sign language, Fisher toys, experts on this and experts on that, "bonding", "socialisation", "safety", on and on - i think dj's plea is for a little lightness, and freedon/relaxation, the mother trusting her own, deep instincts, and I guess, Love is really what its all about.

She doesn't skirt over difficult or controversial issues, and approaches them sensitively, her particular plea for "community" was especially interesting for me, not so easy to achieve, but still she takes an inspiring, commonsense appraoch.

A hypothesis against anxiety and for simple, ordinary parental love.

Parents are the experts!
I have three children aged 7, 4 and 1. I first read this book when my eldest daughter was three and have read it every few months ever since. It's my parenting pick-me-up.

I think that this is a wonderful resource for parents who are happy to let their children grow up in their own time and who just want to love and support them along their way. This is not a "how to..." book, rather it is a reminder that parents are the experts when it comes to their own children. It talks about how to tread that fine line between allowing your children the freedom to be who they are while also teaching them that they live in social groups with certain rules and expectations.

For anyone wanting a more child centred approach to parenting without turning their child into the centre of the universe, this book is invaluable.

It's okay not to hot-house
If you want a book that reassures you it's okay to just enjoy your child and give them space to develop into their own person... this is the one. Deborah Jackson has a wonderfully calm way of talking, using her own experiences and research to help you have confidence in your own parenting. There are no techniques. No rules. No dogma. If you feel at odds with modern parenting 'methods' all of a sudden there's someone who's speaking your language. A great antidote to all the 'how to' 'parent vs. child' books out there. Lovely!