Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #2325 in Books
• Published on: 1998-03-01
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 384 pages

Customer Reviews

Confused

Somehow I identified with all of the life-traps and so therapy beckons? The more I read the more any optimism I'd held began to evapourate. Hopefully though anyone who wishes to adopt the steps to change their lives has fewer schemas than I, even with one life-trap it would take grinding hard work to escape from it. However, nothing worthwhile came easy, so keep expectations low and success will come your way. An interesting view into our behaviours and their origins.

Very disappointed and no use to me at all
This book presumes that any `negative life patterns' you are currently experiencing have always been there and are the result of negative or abusive elements from your childhood. Having been in and out of cognitive behavioural therapy and counselling for the past few years, my childhood is a place I've been encouraged to visit on many occasions.

Despite a couple of vaguely negative aspects of my childhood there is absolutely nothing in it that would lead me to have the chronic lack of confidence I currently suffer from, indeed up until the age of about 26 I was supremely self confident.

I have always been hugely outgoing, was always praised by my loving and supportive parents and was always then centre of attention with endless numbers of friends. As a child i'd put on plays and dances and force the entire family to watch and they were always warm, loving and very supportive of me. I never doubted my abilities, even when I forgot the script or next dance move, and from being a young child through to my mid twenties, I had bags of confidence.

The books assumption that you have ALWAYS suffered from any particular negative life pattern it discusses is very off putting as for me, it does not help me at all in dealing with the cause of my lack of confidence which is definitely not rooted in my childhood.

In summary then, if you feel that your negative life pattern can be traced back to childhood, then you might find this book of use, however, if like me it is a more recent phenomenon, perhaps a result of a stressful life events or change in circumstances, then this book won't help you at all.

Absolutely worth it!
I was quite sceptical when I was first told to read this book because I have read other books on cognitive therapy and I had been bitterly disappointed but this book changed things for me. I also found that how I felt was completely normal at the time because I still get the same reaction from others to whom I recommend this book. All one has to do is to be really open to change and the suggestions and advice in this book can definitely change one's life for the better. It is not easy to leave old habits behind and to learn new ones and I often wondered, whilst reading it, if I could be bothered with this life long task. Because remember, it IS a life long task. It is a journey that you have to embark on to change years and years of ingrained thinking patterns which is ever so hard to, first, get your head around and then secondly, to actually action. But please try it and do not despair because with the help of this wonderful book everyone can obtain the ability to break free from life traps that prevent us from living a psychologically better life, becoming more self-aware and altogther calmer and more in control. I really suggest that you take the chance! You will thank me for it later...