Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #4177 in Books
• Published on: 1999-08-16
• Binding: Paperback
• 272 pages

Amazon.co.uk Review
Is time alone each day as essential to you as sleep? Do you feel overwhelmed by bright lights and noise? Do you have a keen imagination and vivid dreams? Are you "too shy" or "too sensitive" according to others? Are you frequently accused of being a cry-baby or a scaredy-cat? If any of the above sound familiar ,you could be a "highly sensitive" person. One in every five people is born with a heightened sensitivity: these individuals are often gifted with great intelligence, intuition and imagination. However, there are also drawbacks. Frequently they come across as aloof, shy or moody and suffer from low self-esteem because they find it hard to express themselves in a society dominated by excess and stress. US-based author Elaine Aron, herself a highly sensitive person, offers practical solutions for people who feel overwhelmed by their own feelings. Elaine has pioneered research into highly sensitive people for many years. She trained at the Jung Institute in San Francisco and now runs a thriving psychotherapy practice. This is an excellent book for those of us who have previously been dismissed as being neurotic or over- sensitive. Filled with helpful case studies and practical exercises and advice, it focuses on how to stop perceiving yourself as shy and instead focus on your strengths. It is useful reading for any parents who have a sensitive child. Megan Slyfield

Synopsis
For those people who have a keen imagination, are labelled too shy or too sensitive, who perform poorly when being observed even though they are usually competent, have vivid dreams and for whom time alone each day is essential - this is the book to help them understand themselves and how best to cope in various situations. Highly sensitive people are often very bright and creative but many suffer from low self esteem. They are not "neurotics" as they have been labelled for so long. However, high sensitivity can lead them to cease to engage with the outside world. This book offers solutions for a happy and fulfilling life, particularly in the way an HSP perceives him or herself, it helps to "reframe" past events, such as a difficult childhood.

Customer Reviews

Finally
I bet this book is going to tip soon. It offers a new perspective on a a type of person that usually feels a bit 'different'. Its made me ponder quiet a lot and reflect on myself in a new light.

Well done!

My personal opinion
I came across this book on a 2nd hand bookstall, and the title jumped right out at me - I had to have it! I had never come across the trait of 'high sensitivity' before, but knew it would be relevent to me. I had always thought I had a slightly 'defective' personality: instead of going out to noisy pubs and clubs, I'd much rather be reading a book, or watching a DVD, or having a quiet dinner with friends. But this is not cool when you are a teenager or in your twenties, especially in our boozy British culture, where even the girls are expected to be 'blokey' ie. drunken, horny and loud. Plus Id always been told I was 'too sensitive' by my family. I had a feeling this was somehow related to me being so different.

But as I read this book I was amazed. Not only did someone seem to understand exactly who I was and what I'd been struggling with my whole life, they were saying there was nothing wrong with me! Apparently I was normal, and there were lots of others like me. Being an HSP I now know is a positive thing, not a disorder. Like many other traits, there are pros and cons, but there is nothing 'inferior' about being a sensitive person. I realise there are many things I can do as a HSP, that the more thick-skinned 'normal' people can't.

Basically this book has validated a part of my personally that I was ashamed of, and has helped me learn who I truly am. It has raised my self-esteem just by reading it, and without having to do any tedious self-helpy exercises. It has also given me permission to avoid loud and smelly parties without feeling like a social reject. Thank you Elaine Aron!

If you feel that you are even slightly more sensitive than the average person, I think you will find this book invaluable. Btw the hsperson website has a quiz to see if you are an HSP, and some great free articles.

And since HSPs are very good at enjoying their own company, I will also recommend a brilliant book I have just read: 'Party of One: The Loners' Manifesto' by Anneli Rufus. For me it had similar uplifting and validating qualities as 'The HSP'. And it's very fun to read.

Compassionate and helpful
This book is well observed, and gave me a wider context to my life and while I feel the way I do. It provided me with some useful insights about work, health and relationships. The lists of tips for doctors, teachers, and bosses working with HSPs are very useful. On the debit side, I was less keen on the aspects of spirituality touched on in the final chapter. Also the book doesn't really deal with sexual preference and HSPs. Perhaps the sequel about HSPs and love will be better for this.