Product Description

A new updated edition containing new references, a preface to
the 2nd edition, updates of case histories and new research, plus new case
histories - most notably George W. Bush

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #41036 in Books
• Published on: 2003-05-05
• Binding: Paperback
• 384 pages

Jeremy Vine
'A classic. An absolute, slam-dunk tour-de-force guaranteed to
make you think'

Irish Times
`He presents some compelling evidence for his case in this popular
examination of recent research into how we develop'

Synopsis
Clinical psychologist Oliver James demonstrates that who we are is largely the result of the way we were cared for during our first six years, rather than our genes and other environmental factors. The particular way we were treated in these earliest months and years explains why siblings can be so different. They may have been raised in the same family, but their mother and father related so differently to each of them that they might as well had a different parents. These early experiences affect our choices of friends and lovers, define our interests and professional drives, make us more or less prone to mental illness. James illustrates a vast body of startling new scientific evidence with detailed clinical case histories and those of prominent interviewees as diverse as Jeffrey Archer and Stephen Fry, along with revealing psychobiographies of the likes of Woody Allen, Mia Farrow and Prince Charles. Each chapter also includes a straightforward questionnaire that allows you to complete an 'emotional audit' so that you can be more aware of your role in the family script.

"They F**k You Up" is a vital, challenging book offering compelling insights into how childhood experience provides the key to personality.

Customer Reviews

Longwinded!
Oliver James really is in need of a good editor, this book bangs on and on about the fact that nurture is more important than nature. He's too extreme in his view for my taste, I still think it's a bit of both.

However since nurture is the only thing we have any control over, perhaps its reasonable to concentrate on it.

He could really have summarised his argument in one chapter and then gone on to describe how to diagnose and basically fix yourself. However he rambles, boy does he ramble on! The book becomes a chore after a while, I enjoyed Affleunza but not this book.

I would really recommend 'Families and how to Survive them' over this, it explains in clear terms what our developmental stages are and what can go wrong and what's the cure. Plus it's got illustrations(!)

Boring. Don't give Oliver James your money
This man is making serious statements while living the life of a 'champagne socialist' as one reviewer has noted. Boring.
What experience has he really got?

TRULY LIFE-CHANGING, YET BASED ON SCIENCE
I have never read a book which gave a fairer account of both the nature-nurtuer debate (unlike Stinker Pinker) and also changed how I see myself and my children.
Now I understand how my place in the family drama affected me but also, the importance of what went on when I was a baby.
Love the use of famous people he has interviewed (Stephen Fry etc) but also the analysis of such figures as Bush and Woody Allen.
Brilliant, entertaining, unputdownable.