Listmania!
10 acts who give me acute burning diarrhea (in rough order)
BadBad by Michael Jackson
Buy used from: £1.85
Bad, mad or sad? Or all three? "Does this nose suit me Bubbles? Hang on I'll take my oxygen mask off - move over Macauley please." Now deceased. Sad.
The Ultimate Gary GlitterThe Ultimate Gary Glitter by Gary Glitter
Buy used from: £7.41
Again not one you'd leave a child home alone with. Didn't in fact get banged up for his most heinous crimes - his music and dress taste.
The Slim Shady LPThe Slim Shady LP by Eminem
Buy new: £5.88 / Used from: £0.98
Smother him in chocolate, candy coat him and seal him in an airtight foil bag, is my vote. And quickly, before he releases anything else.
I Want It That WayI Want It That Way by Backstreet Boys
Buy used from: £0.01
Were named the Back Passage Boys but management thought this might alienate their other target audience - prepubescent girls.
What Goes AroundWhat Goes Around by Justin Timberlake
Buy used from: £6.12
The Mousketeer who thought he could. As Al Delvecchio would sadly say: Yeeap, yeeap, yeeap, yeeap, yeeap.
Get Rich Or Die Tryin'Get Rich Or Die Tryin' by 50 Cent
Buy new: £3.48 / Used from: £1.49
Fiddy Cent? Criminally overpriced. If only he'd had a little more help with his second option.
Unbreakable - the Greatest Hits Vol. 1Unbreakable - the Greatest Hits Vol. 1 by Westlife
Buy new: £3.98 / Used from: £1.97
If talent was gas, between them they wouldn't have enough to squeeze out a decent fart.
The BodyguardThe Bodyguard by Original Soundtrack
Buy new: £5.18 / Used from: £0.41
I can see how you'd go off your food and turn to the needle if you'd made 'The Bodyguard', and released 'I'll always love yououOUOUouou...'
This Is Not Real Love [2 Track CD]This Is Not Real Love [2 Track CD] by George Michael/Mutya
Buy used from: £3.75
What can we say about George (that isn't written on a toilet wall somewhere)? Can't drive. Can't loiter. Can't sing. Some talent at taking drugs, but overshadowed by Amy W.
Someday (I Will Understand)Someday (I Will Understand) by Britney Spears
Buy used from: £26.31
Perhaps a bit unkind to include Brit here - after all, she did give us a decent laugh when she had all her hair hacked off.....And then there was that MTV dance routine......
Definitely MaybeDefinitely Maybe by Oasis
Buy new: £6.98 / Used from: £0.79
Actually one of the BEST albums of all time - just added this so lots of links to the top ten WORST artists above.
(What's the Story) Morning Glory?(What's the Story) Morning Glory? by Oasis
Buy new: £8.98 / Used from: £5.19
Loudmouthed & arrogant? Light fingered around music not their own? Lyrically challenged? Liam & Noel - guilty on all three counts. But still brilliant.
Automatic for the PeopleAutomatic for the People by R.E.M.
Buy new: £5.48 / Used from: £0.24
Another great album. It's funny, they don't sound Greek.
The Joshua TreeThe Joshua Tree by U2
Buy new: £12.18 / Used from: £1.49
U2 : Bone-Oh's gift to God (or would that be Bone-Oh?)
All That You Can't Leave BehindAll That You Can't Leave Behind by U2
Buy new: £15.78 / Used from: £0.20
Altho the intervening albums had their moments, this was a true return to form. If only they didn't do for self importance what the Gallaghers do for arrogance. Abs fantastic live in Auckland.
The Great EscapeThe Great Escape by Blur
Buy new: £3.98 / Used from: £0.35
Difficult to choose one of theirs; 'Parklife' and 'Blur' were also in the running. Best of Blur may have been the right compromise. Always keenly observed and intelligent.
If I Should Fall From Grace With God (Remastered & Expanded)If I Should Fall From Grace With God (Remastered & Expanded) by The Pogues
Buy new: £6.58 / Used from: £4.50
McGowan is an Adonis! And he can drink.
American Idiot: Parental AdvisoryAmerican Idiot: Parental Advisory by Green Day
Buy new: £7.28 / Used from: £1.89
'Dookie' would have been the other choice, or 'International Superhits' if compilations were allowed.
London CallingLondon Calling by The Clash
Buy new: £4.48 / Used from: £2.71
What would a list be without Joe Strummer's mob? Still sounds good.
Everything Must GoEverything Must Go by Manic Street Preachers
Buy new: £4.88 / Used from: £0.01
I prefer the tracks written without Richey, to be honest.
Hot FussHot Fuss by The Killers
Buy used from: £1.37
Mr Brightside - great video (who is that Goldilocks?). Excellent album.
Different ClassDifferent Class by Pulp
Buy new: £4.98 / Used from: £0.35
Seriously good throwaway lyrics.
Urban HymnsUrban Hymns by The Verve
Buy new: £4.98 / Used from: £0.24
Why did no-one knee him in the groin when Dick was rudely bumping into people?
Astro LoungeAstro Lounge by Smash Mouth
Buy new: £13.28 / Used from: £0.01
Everyone's got a Smashmouth in their closet. Way at the back, behind the rubber mask box.
Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm NotWhatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not by Arctic Monkeys
Buy new: £4.98 / Used from: £2.99
Don't believe the hype - believe me.