Product Description

How to Write the Perfect Novel brings you Craftsmanship Through Negative Learning(tm)! By showing you the worst excesses of `popular fiction' it liberates the aspiring writer to either "unleash hell" in a shower of purple prose, or embrace a more rarefied but less mainstream output - no moral judgements offered, and untold wealth guaranteed!

Of course, it's also a wildly funny read for the guilty lover of trashy novels, parodying thrillers, romances, crime, science fiction, erotica and even the Booker Prize with equal aplomb. Naming names and showing no mercy to the perpetrators, it will submerge you in such brain-numbing brilliance you may never browse through a library in quite the same way again....

* How to Write Dumber Than You Are
* Writing for The First Wall (of Your Local Big Chain Bookstore)
* How to Totally Win The Booker Prize
* Writing Porn for Fun And Profit
* Writing Bloodless Crime for Bloody Big Money
* Aphorisms to Ape and Forget
* Embracing Your Purple Cow
* How Promotion Can Sell Your Worst Writing to People Who Hate You
* How to Write Like Nora Roberts and Get Sort Of Rich and Sort Of Famous
PLUS...
* Specially commissioned bestselling comic verse by Thomas Hood, Dead Poet
* An after afterword by incredibly famous movie auteur INGMAR BERGMAN!!!
* And a collection of such potted classics as Riche Biche Quiche, Doggod, Little Goose and many, many more...

Go on then. How many reasons do you want? Get to the checkout. You know you want to...

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #312750 in Books
• Published on: 2008-11-11
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 128 pages

Review
"This is a fabulous escape from the reality of rejection slips, and may even remind you why you wanted to write in the first place"
--Essential Writers

Review
"A bitter look at how to succeed"

Customer Reviews

For everyone who has a passion for reading or writing!
This is one book that could be my bible. It shows what happens inside the literary world and it does it with ease.
Obviously, there may be things that we can disagree with but that will always be personal opinions. Stone may be tongue-in-cheek but there is an element of serious facts here. The sarcasm is easily seen and you would have to be blind not to see it.
It has certainly opened my eyes and has made me realise a lot of things that needed to be changed in the literary world! I have even praised it on my blog called Chronicles of a Creative Writer. Thanks Chancery!
I recommend this book for everyone who has a passion for reading or writing!

Read and Learn!
This is the kind of book that you read for the humour the scathing remarks and the blatent flaunting of all the rules. Yet it is so cleverly written that you find yourself learning things that quite frankly none of the other how to books teach you.
It may be intended as a tongue in cheek guide to writing the novel but it actually shows up some major points that are often over looked by other 'how to' authors.
I would consider it a must for all writing groups and creative writing courses. It takes away so much of the pompous attitude too many writers have about themselves.