Product Description

Sex is like air: it's not important unless you aren't getting any. And international bestselling authors Allan & Barbara Pease focus their insight and wit on this, the most important, yet sometimes most frustrating and confusing part of any loving relationship. With cutting edge research and groundbreaking analysis, Allan and Barbara reveal why men want sex and women want love. In this practical, humorous and easy-to-read guide Allan and Barbara help the reader discover the truth about their partner - or future partners. And most importantly, they translate the science into a highly entertaining read then teach you what you can do about it! This is a must-have book for anyone who wants to get the most from their relationship. It provides the answers both men and women are desperate to learn.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #4040 in Books
• Published on: 2009-09-17
• Original language: English
• Binding: Paperback
• 288 pages

Review
'A readable, brutal analysis of how your brain chooses partners for you... it helps to know love is a mental disorder, like OCD. Romantic feelings are chemical responses triggered in the brain - not the mystical meeting of souls.' (Liz Hoggard EVENING STANDARD )

'In a world world where over 50 per cent of marriages end in divorce, spending 12.99 on some great advice and insight has to be cheaper than calling in the lawyers.' (DAILY RECORD )

About the Author
Allan Pease is the world's foremost expert on body language and relationships. His acclaimed book Body Language has sold over 4m copies, while his TV series had over 100m viewers worldwide. He travels the world lecturing on human communication. Barbara Pease is CEO of Pease International, which produces videos, training courses and seminars for businesses and governments worldwide. She is co-author of the bestselling book WHY MEN DON'T LISTEN AND WOMEN CAN'T READ MAPS, which has sold 10m copies worldwide. Barbara Pease is CEO of Pease International, which produces videos, training courses and seminars for businesses and governments worldwide. She is co-author of the bestselling book Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps, which has sold ten million copies around the world.

Customer Reviews

To biased on the male point of view
I did enjoy reading this book but i came away thinking and feeling that this book is very biased and categories all men the same.

I have been married and have had several long term partners and although i can see some of their male traits in this book, i don't believe that men are as mechanical as this book depicts them to be.

With several of my partners, i have had a higher sex drive than them!! They certainly where not up for it any day and all of the time!!

I think this book was written more by Allan Pease than his wife, as it hardly goes into what women think about, and i certainly know that women are eyeing up men all of the time too!! But this book kind of depicts that men have the monopoly on that.

And their are millions of women all over the world who look at porn too.

I think that women like sex just as much as men do, except we want more quality sex!!!

Great book!
A great book using hard facts and science to illustrate the differences between the way men and women have evolved according to Darwin's Theory of Evolution. Plenty of jokes and stories keep the reader interested, and it's very easy to understand. Plenty of useful advice on dating and mating for the modern age.

Understanding Humans


This is one of the funniest books I've read for years. It's politically incorrect, insightful and based on real life. The authors state their position from the outset, "It may be politically correct to say that men and women think the same way and want the same things but if you have had any experience living with them, working with them or managing them, you'll know it's not true." Men are attracted by a women's health, fertility and youth while women are motivated by a man's power, status, commitment and material resources (at least I managed the commitment!)

Apparently love is mainly biological, triggered " by a combination of brain chemicals, including dopamine, oxytocin, testosterone, oestrogen and norepinephrine" with testosterone and oxytocin the main culprits by changing in proportion and giving the false impression that the sex drive in males and females is the same. It's nature's way of drawing us into the procreation process. One researcher described falling in love as "a distinct set of chemical events occurring in the brain that has similarities with mental illness". As mental illness often produces a skewed version of reality this might explain why people remain in relationships long after the relationship has run out of steam.

Sex changes with society's expectations with Hollywood and the media playing a major role in people's perceptions of their ideal partner. Prior to the 'sixties the ideal man was the tall, rugged, John Wayne, a man's man and patriot, who was always respectful towards the ladies. Since then the ideal man is like Tom Cruise, short, good looking, telling women they should be silent during childbirth and an evangelist against psychiatry. Almost twenty percent of couples cohabit - some with members of the same sex - and divorce rates are on the increase everywhere. On the good side the notion that 60 equates to old age has been challenged by numerous people including Sean Connery, Joan Collins and Paul McCartney. "This is the first generation of humans who refuse to acknowledge ageing." It doesn't stop it of course but it does make one feel better.

Men and women have different needs. According to one of the jokes in the book, a woman wants one man to satisfy her every little need while a man wants every woman to satisfy his one little need. It's a caricature of course - isn't it? Women say they are looking for love, faithfulness, kindness, commitment, education and intelligence in a man. Men are looking for personality, attractiveness, brains, humour and a good body in a woman. According to sex researcher Alfred Kinsey 69% of American males had been to a prostitute but only 1% of women. Figures released in 2008 show that the UK was the most promiscuous country in the world. In the UK 80% of teenagers "lose their virginity when they are drunk or feel pressured into having sex". Sex has become socially casual rather than biologically driven.

The authors produce the anticipated mating rating quiz which could lead to a perfect match between partners. These are not necessarily accurate. Couples should have the same core beliefs about politics, although Arnold Schwarzenegger is a Republican and his wife Maria Shriver a Democrat. Other core values include attitudes to raising children and to discipline (which seems to under-estimate the ability of children to play one parent off against another no matter how united they are in theory). The authors suggest that "understanding where we came from and how we inherited our motivations lets us control our present and direct our future". I'm not convinced members of either sex will ever really understand the other. What is more important is to increase the lack of recognition in ourselves in order to provide recognition for others. Love is about giving not taking. It's about substituting selflessness for selfishness.

The book is full of witticisms, many of which have an element of truth, as long as you don't take them too seriously. It's worth five stars for the laughs alone even if it doesn't fully explain why men want sex and women need love.