Product Description

There is no book currently available that is focused exclusively on women who have been sexually assaulted by a partner. Because rape/sexual assault is still subject to public and judicial stereotypes of "real" rape, i.e. strangers in alleyways, and because partner rape is not perceived to be as serious and traumatic as other kinds of rape, survivors often have difficulty finding information and getting support.

That has now changed.

Drawing on the experiences and voices of 30 survivors of partner rape from Australia, North America Canada and the UK, it is a healing/resource book for survivors, supporters and professionals in the fields of counselling and advocacy internationally.

Real Rape, Real Pain is a book may make you feel uncomfortable, in that it tackles the violence and unpleasantness of rape within marriage; it forces us to confront the hidden violence in our society. It challenges the silence and secrecy about marital rape. As the authors say, "Violence is about using power and control, not about being out of control. There is no excuse for marital violence ever."

The aims of the book are changing the rape culture and helping survivors. Chapters cover identifying rape in marriage, women at risk, staying with a partner who has raped you, sexuality after partner rape, a safety plan, and numerous other issues related to partner rape.

As American author Monika Ostroff says, "Real Rape, Real Pain is the compassionate, loving friend that reaches into the darkness to the sufferer of partner rape, offering hope and help for a healthy life, free from violence. A wise teacher, this book will inform everyone from professionals working in the field to family members of women being victimized to politicians who are empowered to make the necessary changes to ensure safety on all our behalves. This book is a beacon of light that illuminates a dark, misunderstood yet incredibly common phenomenon of violence. It is a must-read for every survivor, family member, clinician, and politician!"

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #658390 in Books
• Published on: 2006-07-01
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Paperback
• 364 pages

Dr. Emma Williamson, Women's Aid UK
"The authors of this excellent book, Patricia Easteal and Louise McOrmond-Plummer, admirably achieve what they set out to."

Shelley McInnis, The Canberra Times, December 16, 2006
"...Should be welcomed as a worthy contribution to the literature
on violence against women"

From the Inside Flap
If you think you're alone in fearing the rapist in your home, abused even while you love the perpetrator, here is a book that will open your eyes to what numerous other women are going through, and teach you about rights, boundaries and healing from the trauma caused by partner rape. It challenges both the silence and the social myths about what "real" rape is, with the aim of preventing it from continuing.

"A must-have resource written by women who understand the complexities associated with healing from relationship abuse. Containing valuable advice and personal accounts from those who have been therein an easy-to-read format, this book is well overdue."
Amy Norman, author of Dancing with the Devil: A Memoir

"Real Rape, Real Pain is the compassionate friend that reaches into the darkness to the sufferer of partner rape, offering hope and help for a life free from violence. ... This book is a beacon of light that illuminates a misunderstood yet incredibly common phenomenon of violence."
Monika Ostroff, co-author of Anorexia Nervosa: A Guide to Recovery

"This book, by and for survivors, will help readers understand the trauma of an attack by an intimate, a partner, and the obstacles women face in winning ustice which is so crucial for the healing process. It reassures survivors that they are not alone in what they have suffered, nor in their determination to rebuild their lives."
Women Against Rape (UK)

Customer Reviews

Excellent - thoroughly recommend this book
Real Rape, Real Pain draws on the voices of women from across the globe to expose, demystify and provide answers to surviving partner rape. The subject of rape within relationships, a difficult and rarely talked about form of violence, is tackled head on by these authors and they triumph in their task. Personal testimonies, forming the spine of the text, make this book readily accessible by everyone from women experiencing partner rape to those providing assistance and support - counsellors and therapists included. The book's evolution, from identifying the abuse to accessing support, is thoroughly researched with excellent references and resources. Compassionate, wise and practical this book is an invaluable work that provides real answers and has the potential to create powerful change.

Outstanding!
This is a phenomenal book.

Real Rape, Real Pain challenges the multitude of myths that surround partner rape, tackles the immense difficulties women face when it comes to naming partner rape and provides practical advice on leaving safely, perusing justice and the many different aspects of healing.

For survivors of rape by an intimate it is the first resource available on the prevalent issue of partner rape. For counsellors, therapists, rape crisis workers and researchers it is a key text to be added to the library.

This book is comforting and healing as well as practical - I highly recommend it.

The book we've all been waiting for
It is always easier to find resources on child sexual abuse (and adult survivors of child sex abuse) and sexual adult abuse (rape committed by a stranger) yet when I was searching for a book on sexual abuse where the perpetrator happened to be a so called partner/boyfriend/husband who had committed the same crime, there was no book to validate that rape can happen in numerous ways and at any age in what is meant to be an intimate relationship. At last here is the beginning of one of those books to give hope and validation as well as support to all survivors of date/acquaintance or martial rape. It challenges the twisted social myths that trapped victims into an even more tormenting hell. It opens our eyes that rape can be committed by someone you may be close too, trust and consider to be that very person that should be loving you not hurting you. It challenges the fact that there is a fine line between making love and having someone make hate to you. That consenting to the former does not mean given consent to the latter. It includes the different types of partner rapists and their disturbing psychology in relation to attitude and behaviour. It challenges the fact that rape does not have to be vaginal, it can be oral and anal which can be just as degrading and humiliating, that the pain is long lasting even if the rape is a one time thing, and that rape does not have to be someone physically harming you to obtain sex but it can be done in more subtle forms such as interpersonal sexual abuse and coercion tactics. Futhermore sex abuse is also not always about abuse through rape, many abusers use other demeanng and controlling forms of sex abuse which are detailed in the book. The book is well documentated, researched, informative and has many real life examples of survivors experiences. This book is a must for not only survivors, but also the general public in dispelling social myths and in opening their eyes to a much neglected issue in our society. This book will make you rethink about defining rape and sexual abuse and gives justice to those assaulted by partners. Even if the perpetrator is commonly refered to as a male and the survivor female it can be applied to those survivors of same sex relationships or male survivors. An intellectual read and beacon of light that illuminates a misunderstood yet incredibly common phenomenon of violence. Also check out the authors website on this issue called Aphrodite Wounded.