Product Description

I Think, Therefore I Drop My Clothes in a Heap...
Andrew Martin is surprisingly well qualified to write a guide to housework for men. Not only is he a man himself, but he does a lot about the house. On purely humanitarian grounds he recently took over some of the ironing from his wife; he then branched out into bath-cleaning, "specialist" dusting, and washing up after dinner (when he wasn't going out).
For the purposes of this book, Martin has interviewed many experts, and can thus provide answers to such burning questions as:
Do I Need to Bother about the Controls on the Iron?
Is Dust Dangerous?
and
What is All That Stuff at the Bottom of the Laundry Basket?

The result is an elegantly informative read, which interweaves witty, practical housework advice and musings on the nature of domestic politics with recollections from the author's Yorkshire childhood and highly illuminating scenes from the daily sit-com of family life.
How to get things really flat will amuse and instruct any man, forced at gunpoint by his significant other to read it.

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #44005 in Books
• Published on: 2008-10-02
• Original language: English
• Binding: Hardcover
• 240 pages

Review
You might not think a book about cleaning could be funny but this made me laugh out loud. In the office. During a quiet lunch hour. Not bad for a guide to housework written by a one-time clueless male for clueless males. Full of useful tips - for men as well as women. At last reading about housework can be fun. --Financial Times, November 2008

Review
Obviously my husband will be getting a pristine copy of How to Get Things Really Flat. The author takes his task seriously but he's also a funny and fluent writer and this one might just hang around long enough to become an essential reference book as our two young boys grow up.

About the Author
Andrew Martin trained as a barrister before becoming a journalist and novelist. He has contributed to most national newspapers. His seven novels include five titles - beginning with The Necropolis Railway - featuring the young Edwardian detective, Jim Stringer. He has also written short stories and radio plays. He is married with two children, and lives in Highgate.

Customer Reviews

How to get things really flat
This is a stupidly simple very funny read. Does its sentiments apply to you? I bet it does! I relate to almost everything he writes about - especially Hoovering, shopping, ironing etc. A super read.

A must read for the independent man
A must read for the independent man .


I heard extracts form this book on BBC Radio 4 as it was the book of the week. Having a go at men for being useless at any area of endeavour particularly household chores is the last area of discrimination which is still acceptable.

It is supposed to be funny if a man does not know how to put the washing machine on or doesn't iron or run the vacuum round. Housework has traditionally be the expertise of women but I find like dieting and exercising it is the subject of a lot of controversy and contrary advice amongst those who supposedly know.

The hilarity of this book is based on the fact that men are not supposed to be any good at housework or even interested in it. This is a bit of an old fashioned view as most young blokes have been to university so at some stage have had to look after themselves.They are a more self sufficient generation than most. In the past men left home either to join the army or get married without any gap in between. In the army they were looked after and told what to do and in marriage they were looked after and told what to do.

I remember when my son was at university that his friends would clear the house up before their parents came as it was awash with pizza boxes and old beer cans. He didn't bother as he knew we would not be taken in by such tricks.

My mother trained my brothers and myself in the basics of household chores so we are not completely useless. In fact with modern inventions it is easier than ever. I do all the ironing in my house and I find it is a good way to catch up on films I have recorded, listening to the radio and exercising. I also run the vacuum around from time to time and one of my jobs is the get down on my hands and knees and clean the kitchen floor when we have visitors.

I liked the way he has approached the subject like any man and has researched t and asked questions. we are bombarded by adverts which tell us how to get rid of limescale and get the glass ware sparkling but we did no know if any of this is true.

Women have very tough views on dirt and I agree with them . In the chapter on dust he says his wife checks the hotel on holiday and if there is any dust they are no going to enjoy the holiday .

she reckons if the hotel is properly cleaned therefor it is not properly run the staff will be mentally inadequate and of course sh is usually right.

I am the same with people who cannot change toilet rolls. If they cant do a simple tasks like that else cant they do. some people think it is mildly endearing to always run out of milk bread toilet rolls but I just think it shows they general slovenliness.

He moves on to controversial subjects like Christmas and cards, he way quite rightly nobody gives a toss if you do not send them a Christmas card because they receive so many they wont remember.


I have an agreement that if I load the dishwasher then I am not to be about if it gets reloaded. Women should be clever enough not to go behind their partners back and do it again.Or if they do they should not let them see,

If their partner has got it wrong then it is their fault for not teaching them in the first place. Women also have a tendency to keep changing the rules so it is impossible to know what the correct method is.

He is a brave man to tackle such a controversial subject. Women claim they want men to be good at these things but if we were good at them they might become redundant. Women know really that men can survive so make out it is more difficult then it really is.

In the army cadet force we used to teach the cadets how to iron their uniforms. We further told them that it should be their responsibility not their mother's. The good ones used to come in superbly ironed uniforms each week.

I now hear a lot of women boast Oh I don't do ironing any more. This seems to be as a result of non iron shirts but you can tell the difference. A well ironed shirt and proper crease in your trousers helps you exude confidence.

A must read for the independent man. Men do however let the side down by claiming that certain areas of household chores are not for them. You should have at least a working knowledge of how to do it so that you can be smug on the day she leaves because of your supposedly annoying habits.

great book
This has got my housework allergic husband to voluntarily get the vacuum cleaner out and hoover the house! Something that has never happened before without a great deal of nagging. He even wiped down all the kitchen cupboards while telling me what a slob I was for not doing it sooner. The book is very funny but has a lot of practical tips for the housework naive male. Highly recommended.